I was listening to Oprah today. Steve Pressfield was on and talking about RESISTANCE. My ears perked up. I kept missing what he was saying and had to keep rewinding so I could take notes.

I ordered one of his books and I’m so excited. Resistance is normal when you are growing – when you take on something new, resistance is normal. It feels physical, but it’s not. You CAN get through it to freedom. You CAN do the uncomfortable thing even though you FEEL resistance. That’s why I continue to blog and make videos – even though my resistance tells me I’m no good and stupid for thinking this is valuable. I’m doing it ANYWAY.

This video is about me resisting being ANNOYED. I was in a bad mood because I didn’t think I should be annoyed – I mean, shouldn’t I ALWAYS be happy? That thought made me even more upset.

Alas, why not record a video? I thought. It usually works to give me some freedom.

So I did. I got free by SHARING.

I couldn’t believe how free I got just by opening up my mouth and speaking. I feel like a different person. It was SO COOL.

Here’s the video:

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Well, there you have it, folks!! Creating Life Out Here by Sharing, Saying the Unsaid, and Not resisting your experience.

I’m loving this exploration. Can’t wait to uncover some more fun ways to get free.

Have a great night and thanks for listening.

I’m getting on a call in a few minutes so this will have to speak for itself.

I thought I was FINE………..OOPSIE!!!

Here’s the video. I have to get on a call and I didn’t listen to the whole thing so I hope it’s ok.

Enjoy!!!

Guess I’ve been a little stuck. Wow!! Who knew? I thought I was fine.

Have a great night.

Thanks for listening.

Enjoying today. Great idea. Wish I was doing it.

Trusting the universe and my instincts? That would also be a no.

Obsessing and worrying and thinking there is something wrong with my lazy, fat ass? That would be a yes. Why am I doing that?

Good question. I’ll tell you why:

• I said I would write an article today for my book and I didn’t find a place to do it so I FAILED. That makes me a lazy, fat ugly loser.
• I didn’t speak up on my date last night when I wanted to leave – that makes me a pleasant, people pleasing chicken shit mute who will never get what I want
• I didn’t go see my mother today – that makes me a bad, horrible, shameful daughter
• My place is a mess – that makes me a terrible, lazy slob.
• I cleaned my boots with BBQ cleaner instead of shoe spray (I tell the story on the video) – that makes me a stupid, ignorant ho.
• I was up on the scale last week – that makes me a fat, hopeless, pathetic loser with no future
• (This is kind of fun – what else?)
• I finished my taxes but I don’t know how much I will owe – that makes me someone who will never have her savings grow ever again
• I have a guy that I totally adore who is not quite available yet – that makes me a stupid, pathetic, fantasy-ridden, romantic who will never have what she wants

OK, I think I’m done. I can see that none of these things actually mean what I said. I was exaggerating on purpose and didn’t do it to manifest it. I did it to CLEAR OUT my negativity. OK? So don’t go on that high horse about watch what you say. I’m PLAYING!!!!!

OK, but since I do want to manifest something great – here goes:

• I am a bestselling author
• I appear on the Oprah show
• I have my own show where I interview people and have them see their own greatness
• I work with an amazing partner
• I have an amazing fabulous wonderful relationship with a man I truly love and adore
• I am at my maintenance weight naturally and wonderfully
• I am healthy and strong
• My family is vital, fulfilled, happy and thriving
• I live in a full time beautiful home on the water with my wonderful man
• My retirement is fully funded and my income grows effortlessly and exponentially

OK, I feel a little more positive now. That stuff sounds WAY MORE FUN !!

Thank you for listening. Have a great night.

I decided today that I would surrender to the universe and go with the flow.

Since then I have done the opposite:

• freak out about every little thing
• try to control things
• nothing is right
• I can’t make a decision
• I’ve recorded 7 videos and not used any of them because they all suck
• my camera didn’t work so I was on with tech support for an hour and 7 minutes
• they gave me a new partition
• all my passwords are gone
• I don’t remember them
• I’m lucky to have found the one for wordpress
• I want to scream

I am supposed to be going on a date tonight. I can’t decide if I should let him pick me up, if I should drive, if we should go a half hour away, if I want to go at all.

The thought of having fun seems foreign. How does one do that? I literally can’t remember.

I want to stay home and just be miserable with my miserable self. Why can’t I? I really don’t want to go out.

So, can I cut myself some slack?

• I don’t have to record today
• I don’t have to remember all passwords today
• I can go out locally with this guy and just relax
• I can speak up if I want to go home

I’m really afraid that he will want to stay out until 2:00 AM again. I don’t want to.

I’m afraid that he will drink more than I want to. And that I will anyway because I’m not speaking up and don’t want to be high maintenance.

I’m afraid that I will be stuck and won’t be able to speak up for myself. This guy is a little all about how wonderful he is and there are things that concern me. So why am I going?

Good question.

And I have to say I don’t feel better at all after having said all this.

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OK, I’m back. I called my daughter and she helped me.

“Trust yourself. If your instincts are screaming, listen to them. You don’t have to go.”

So I just texted him and said, “Hey, I have work to do. Let me know where you will be and I’ll meet you for a couple of drinks.”

I can breathe again. This way I stay in control and do what I want. Two drinks and I’m home.

He hasn’t responded and that’s ok. I don’t need to please him. I need to please myself.

I can do what I WANT. Not what I think someone else wants.

Phew. That was a close one.

OK, I’m going to try to record a video now that I’m calmer.

OK, still no response. That’s ok. If I don’t go out, I’m ok with it. At least I can breathe.

I can have what I want. I can trust my instincts. I am perfect as I am.

What I learned: “Trust myself – that’s the universe talking.” WOW!

Thank you, universe, for a valuable lesson.

And thank you, Haley. You are a gift to me.

Have a great night and thanks for listening.

This video has two parts. One is a tribute to the author of the book, “How Will You Measure Your Life?”

I just finished reading the book for the Penn Book Club. I didn’t like it at first, but it grew on me. Made me question the culture in which we raised our kids.

A great read for parents of young children and business owners.

The second part was creating a life of love and possibility. What if faith and trust were the loud voices in my head instead of fear and doubt?

That would make happiness, freedom and peace available.

Wow!! What a freaking concept!

Not such a great picture but whatever!!!

It’s long but I worked through some good stuff!!

I am going to take some new steps:

• Reaching out for help quicker and without angst
• Speak Up Faster when I am gnawing at something that happened

Why?

To create more freedom, peace, connectedness, belonging, faith, trust and the ability to be loved.

Why not?

What do I have to lose except a whole bunch of fear and doubt!!!!!!

More tomorrow. Gotta go brush my teeth. I ate lox and the taste in my mouth is TOO SALTY!!!

Thanks for listening!!!

I know, I already discussed this on the last blog. But, this is my video. Rosy beauty cheeks and all. The lighting is weird but oh well. I’m not a perfectionist.

I had a good time as you can see.

Great weekend. Had a weird sort of date last night. Very odd. Fun, but odd.

My other person is still in the picture. We are in communication. I am practicing speaking up and asking for what I want.

It is all good.

I’m also thinking that my heart races because I drink too much coffee. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before. I’m going to switch to more decaf. See if that helps.

I am going to enjoy tonight because tomorrow is…………..Monday!!!!

And instead of saying I’m dreading it like I usually do, I’m going to be positive.

“I can’t wait to get to work tomorrow – what a great successful profitable day we will have. YIPPEE!!!!”

Did you like that? I know. I’m throwing up too. But it’s better than manifesting more negative outcomes, isn’t it?

Well, isn’t it?

OK. How about this?

Tomorrow I will have a great day. I will help my associates book appointments, sell AFLAC, and visualize hitting FAME this quarter. And I will sell my own as well and make beaucoup deneros.

Better?

I think so.

Have a great night.

And thanks for listening.

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/03/why-didnt-i-speak-up-miracles-happens-when-i-do/?fbclid=IwAR2AsCQxFCBhLZ0i4j9nTEN2f0R4fO4Cpy3zvVoHFE9GT-XZuYQG0qlqi7A

The above link is to an article I just posted on Elephant Journal. For some reason, my links are not coming up as pictures like they used to. You actually have to copy the whole string and place it in a browser. Sorry for the inconvenience.

That’s why I didn’t share yesterday’s video. It was just a string of letters.

Anyone having a clue as to why the article doesn’t show, please let me know.

Also, they are recommending that I ask people to share the link if they read and like the article.

This is my scared way of asking you to do that if you like it.

If you can’t find the article, please let me know. That is helpful.

I decided today that I would write more instead of trying to have live events. It seems to be an easier way to promote what I’m doing.

Let’s see what happens.

The good news: I set writing a new article as a goal for today.

I didn’t know where to do it. I couldn’t find a good place. I was going to just give up.

But, ………. I just happened to be on a call with someone today that I hadn’t really spoke to before. At the end of our call, I asked her if she knew any good places where I could write a blog post. She instantly rattled off about 4. Amazing.

This is the first.

I did it. I accompished my goal. Even though I didn’t know how. YAYAYAYAYAY!

Have a great night.

All I wanted was to take a nap because my back was hurting and I was tired.

I recorded this video and I’m back to work.

It’s amazing what sharing and saying what you DON’T think you should say does. And, not resisting where I’m at.

It got me from the left back to the right side!!!!!

Thanks for listening. I have work to do. Gotta go.

I’ll just call it my pajama shame.

You’ll have to watch both if you’re curious. If not, this is mindful self-compassion at work.

Thank you all. Gotta go meet a new agent.

Have a great day!!!

Hey folks. Couldn’t sleep after my amazing book talk.

So glad my friends were there to support me. I had my hair and nails done for the event. The pizza was great. I was positive and appreciate all the way through.

Then I got in my car. I could finally release my embarrassment.

I had some very different expectations for tonight. I worked through them in this video.

Thank God for my kids who understood how I felt. They called me before I buried myself alive in the sand outside. I finally got to laugh at my ridiculous self. I have the best kids!!!!

This video is a long one. It took me a while to work through this “incident.”

I wouldn’t publish it, except that people usually like the ones that are REALLY REAL and this one is as real as one can get. No makeup and in my pajamas.

Have a great night. I need to try to sleep.

This one rambles on a bit, but I am too lazy and tired to do it again.

Thanks for listening.