Colds, Weight Watchers and Yahrzeits

It’s been three years since my dad died. Tonight at Temple, they were also celebrating and discussing MLK’s birthday. We all sang “We Shall Overcome” right after the mourner’s kaddish. It was too much for me. I cried throughout the whole song – uncontrollably. Thank goodness I had tissues.

Martin Luther King talked about “the mountain.” He has seen the other side. He would like to live a long life, but something about he didn’t think he would. Wow!! But as long as he was delivering God’s message, he was good. WOW!

They were talking about how brave he was and man, he was brave. He was powerful.

I remember listening to a podcast of a basketball coach, I think, who happened to be a bodyguard the day that MLK spoke in Washington, DC. They needed someone for the job and asked him. He was standing next to him during that speech. OMG.

He said MLK wasn’t going to do the “I have a dream” part of the speech. A woman who was with MLK on the stage suggested he do that part during the speech.

Can you imagine if he hadn’t? What would be different? Hard to imagine, right?

Anyway, that coach grabbed his speech because MLK left without it. He kept it. It is a valuable piece of paper. I think he finally donated it to the Smithsonian or something. Isn’t that cool?

So, this is my nose-sniffing video. How about calling it Hilary’s Law? When you cry, your nose runs. This video demonstrates it.

I talk about Oprah and Tina Fey, WW, and the actions I am taking to sell 1000 copies of my book by April 7th. It will take a miracle, folks, and I am ready for one.

Demonstrating a new law of physics

Have a good night.

Thanks for listening.

Can I Just Complain?

Not feeling well – cold and headache since Tuesday – now it’s Thursday and it shows no evidence of leaving me

Saw an old flame Tuesday from behind. It messed up my mind. My freedom and peace have disappeared for two days.

I called a friend in publishing today. I wanted suggestions for how to market my book. Instead, what I got was what is wrong with my cover and how no one will be able to find it or read the sub-title. More on my video.

My motrin expired in 2018. More on the video.

I used up my box of tissues and my nose is still running

I’m hot then I’m cold – right now I am hot and about to sneeze

My head is stuffed the fuck up

OK that was fun. That’s what I don’t think I can say. That was COMPLAINING!!!!!

The good stuff:

I found another box of tissues

Fuck the bitch for telling me what was wrong with my book – that’s not what I was calling to hear, AND, I get that’s her job – I’m over it – I didn’t set out to do a perfect cover – I set out to publish my book and I DID THAT!!! Fuck you very much, bitch.

OOPS -this is supposed to be the good stuff – ok, I say that with love. Kiss kiss kiss.

I’ve been in action with work – setting appointments – the fact that over half don’t happen is just part of the game, right? I can only control MY ACTIONS, not theirs.

I am drinking cocoa tea. I may switch to alcohol. Last night I found hard seltzers in my fridge. I drank two. I tracked the points, had a nice numbing buzz and had a great sleep. What could be bad about that?

Tonight I might break out my wine. I can’t drive or see anyone since no one “wants to get sick.” So why not? As long as I track my points, it’s all good!!!!

So what if I stopped drinking at home without meaning to – this is an emergency!!!!

OK – so I’m numbing myself. Seeing that guy really threw me for a loop. And I didn’t even talk to him. It’s my brain that is making up shit. UGH UGH UGH

OK, enough. This is making me feel worse, not better. Here’s the video:

I tried to put on a catchy title – my daughter sent me a video of one with a good title

The title doesn’t really relate to the video, but I’m not in the mood to care. Let’s see if people find it.

WHATEVER!!!

I shouldn’t have blogged or recorded today. BUT I DID!!

I’m going to break out my wine.

Have a good night.

PS I just added a new author to my Amazon Author profile named, Hilary A Burns. We will see if that works. One comment taken care of………

Gateway to Freedom

I love that term. I made it up today.

I did an experiment that I talk about on my video. Or at least I tried to describe it. It was hard to put it into words. Very hard.

I allowed myself to experience, instead of resist, my funk. And, I broke through it rather quickly!!! It was very cool.

Here’s my story:

In the morning, I just didn’t feel excited. I didn’t want to work. My body felt off as well.

I tried sharing it. That started the ball rolling.

I tried getting deeper into it without resisting it.

I tried to work, but I was still so negative that I stopped – I knew I wouldn’t have good results with my shitty attitude. I was going to be right that no good would come from my efforts. So why bother doing it?

I got on my couch and meditated.

The video describes my process. It was very cool.


It worked – Gateway to Freedom Process – WOW!

Anyway, that’s all she wrote for today, folks. Gotta get on a call.

I will just say that I feel like I’m back to the excited person I was on Thursday before the shit hit the fan and I turned into “an asshole” and fell onto the suck side of life.

I am back to the right side, folks! The process worked.

Hallelujah!

Thanks for listening and have a great night!

Working Through My Resistance

Using my issue to create freedom

I am now taking notes that are big enough for me to see. I can take them with me and use them instead of needing a magnifying for the pages they gave me.

It’s amazing how complicated this was for me. I was totally resisting learning this script for work. Like a 3 year old. All day I was avoiding doing this even though it is one of my goals for 2020.

Well, I uncovered alot in this video.

And since then I remembered:

  • The way I learn is to take notes.
  • Then I study my notes.

I started doing that while this video was processing. I am on my way.

I’m not having fun yet, but at least I am out of paralysis and into action.

It is progress.

Have a great night.

Thanks for listening.

Two Recordings

Going to work on my goals so I don’t have time to write more.

I’ll share both videos that I did today. One is long. I was working through yesterday’s issue again. I think I’m finally free.

The second one was something I needed to say about doing these videos.

I just found where the comments were on my videos. So nice. I responded.

That’s it.

OK – I’ll get over it – after this recording!!!!

Second One

Using my negativity for the good

Someone shared a youtube video with me and I watched it. Then Abraham Hicks came on automatically. I guess that is what I needed to hear. It’s called:

Let Your Magic Come Back. I sort of wish I could see them, but it’s just a recording.

I guess I needed to hear it – the universe talking

That’s it. My friend’s about to arrive.

Thanks for listening.

In the Library (so I can't record-I have to be quiet)

I am in the quiet part of the public library so I can’t do a video.

I am trying to work through the aftermath of an email I received a couple of hours ago.

A client told me that she heard I had spoken inappropriately to an employee, trying to recruit them away from her company. I was no longer allowed on their premises.

Come again? Seriously?

I have responded twice telling her that I am a professional and would never try to recruit a happy employee.

I think the person I was talking to (I’m finally remembering after a couple of hours), was complaining that she might not have a job there. So I mentioned our sales opportunity. I think that’s what happened. I always mention our sales openings when someone is looking for a career opportunity.

She must have reported me and told some other version of what happened.

I was upset because this woman, I will call her Jane, dismissed me without the chance to discuss what happened.

This happened to me before. I was accused of sharing another employee’s salary with someone. That company didn’t let me come back for a year. Now, they do, but they watch me like a hawk.

I would never tell someone someone else’s salary. That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t do that. But I had no opportunity to defend myself. Once accused, I was guilty.

While I know things happen that we can’t control, I guess I felt betrayed by Jane. I have known her for about 8 years. While we are not friends outside of our open enrollments, I thought she liked and respected me.

AND, JUST LAST WEEK, I let go of letting what other people say or do affect me. Just last week. I thought I was free and over that.

Guess not!!

This has obviously hit deep. My ACT is that I am nice, a team player, professional, and GOOD.

This doesn’t happen to GOOD people.

But as I have seen with my book, in actuality, I am not always that good. I make mistakes. I do things that seem right in the moment, only to not seem so right afterwards. I do the best I can.

I guess I am human. I guess shit happens. And I guess this woman is doing the best she can. Her communication was her best at that moment in time.

If I’m really honest, that client was a waste of my time. They had been turned off of AFLAC when my former husband talked too long during a presentation many years ago. He was given ten minutes and talked for 30.

We haven’t been able to meet with the employees since then. If you can’t see them, you can’t take care of them or sell them anything. So what am I holding onto really?

I guess I can let it go. We are all human beings doing the best we can. If this is her best, that is ok.

If I made a mistake talking to that employee, then I will learn from that experience.

OK, I feel much better.

Thanks for listening.

Have a great day.

Goals, Productivity and Lady Gaga

Here is my video where I talk about how productive I’ve been. I am amazed at what I am accomplishing.

All because I made some 90 day plans. Who knew?

Goals, plans and being productive

I forgot to mention in the video that last night I listened to an interview with Oprah and Lady Gaga.

A few days ago, on instagram, I had seen a snippet of Oprah running back stage and embracing Lady Gaga (Stephanie) and telling her what an amazing job she had done.

I wondered about it for a few days. Lady Gaga looked like she was in shock and Oprah was just hugging her and telling her she did great.

Last night I saw the podcast on Oprah’s Super Soul channel.

I listened to it driving home. I couldn’t stop. Usually I just listen to the rest the next day. Last night I kept listening when I got home. I finished it.

Lady Gaga was unreal. She was so honest and raw about what she’s been through that I was completely in awe and inspired.

She told about how she is handling her chronic pain and mental health. She hid nothing. It made me feel that I have nothing to hide.

That I can continue being the Real Me.

i was blown away by her courage and vulnerability. She said she asked God to guide her in speaking and I believe that’s what happened. (My opinion). She was in the flow.

God bless her and all of us for our unique journeys and challenges.

As Joel Osteen says, “God isn’t surprised what happens to us. He knows we can handle it. It’s the way we get stronger.”

Well, sometimes that’s helpful and sometimes it isn’t.

I mean, sometimes it just seems too much to handle. Like when my dad died. But three years later, the pain has eased. I miss him, but I experience love when I think of him, instead of pain.

And with my mom’s decline. It seems unbearable at times. But, like with my dad, I know I will get through it and in time the sadness will ease.

It’s life and we don’t always have to like it.

That’s all I’ve got tonight.

Thanks for listening.