Thank you to my communities from Landmark Worldwide, Weight Watchers, and Edge Fitness, as well as my family and friends for the amazing support during the book launch of Real Talk this week.

It blew out some of my regular thinking such as:

• nobody cares
• you’re all alone
• they won’t really buy the book
• they lie
• they don’t mean what they say
• you’re on your own
• prepare to be disappointed

This book launch defied all expectations. It has had me rethink many words:

• community
• support
• teamwork
• expectations

I have also grown in the areas of:

• being with accomplishment
• not minimizing what I have done
• not needing to put it down to be self-effacing

All in all, it was a tremendous week and a HUGE accomplishment.

Now, I will need to strap on another pair and do it all again next month with my third book.

My conversation is:

• they helped you once, don’t ask a second time – you’ve already used them up
• quit while you’re ahead
• prepare for a worse outcome

So, it should be fun to play full out a second time next month.

Stay tuned and thanks for listening.

Love,

Bestselling Author, Hilary Arnow Burns

(Doesn’t that sound cool!!!)

What is ‘Real Talk?’

It’s my new book which will be available during my book launch on March 14th.

“Why did you write this book?” I’ve been asked all week.

Here’s my answer:

About 13 years ago, an innocent comment from my then 10 year old daughter woke me up out of an unconcious stupor.

“You’re too old to look good,” she said casually. We were riding down the escalator at the mall and could see our images in the mirror across the way. I had mumbled under my breath how terrible I looked and that was her response.

I was stunned. ‘I am? This is it? I can never look good again? I’m supposed to be like this? What happened to me? What happened to my life?’

Her comment shook me up and had me start examining my life. You can read about how I got my “Real Self” back in my first book, “The Second Piece of French Toast,” available on Amazon. Here is the link in case you haven’t read it:

https://www.amazon.com/Second-Piece-French-Toast-marriage/dp/0578616149

Since then, I have dedicated my life to learning how to love my life and inspire others to also love theirs. I continue to develop techniques for moving from the stuck side of life to the fun, joyful, happy side. I love to unearth new ways to do this and to share my discoveries with others.

There have been many developments in the fast few years:

• I started a YouTube channel called “Getting Real with Hilary” – determined to stop being my people pleasing, pleasant, phony self I record entertaining videos of my journey to get real
• My weekly newsletter – includes the latest shows, discoveries, tools, techniques, and news about getting real
• The Getting Real with Hilary Show – a live weekly TV/Radio show – a conversation with a guest who has overcome obstacles to triumph over life’s challenges
• Getting Unstuck with Hilary – an 8 week course for getting unstuck and moving towards the life you want
• TikTok – GettingRealwithHi – I use mysefl as a human guinea pig to share what I’ve learned about Getting Real and Free

I have seen that nothing happens until we start talking about things. There is no transformation in our thinking.

This new book, Real Talk, presents the Getting Real Process which has people start saying what they are afraid to say. This helps them eliminate the things that are holding them back, keeping them upset, suffering over, or preventing them from having what they really want in life.

I have seen that by saying the things we don’t say, we create a profound new energy, happiness, passion and attitude for our lives. Why are we afraid? Well, for me I didn’t want to get someone mad, hurt their feelings, be high maintenance, appear difficult, look stupid, lose their friendship, be embarrassed and on and on and on.

When I had the courage to speak up, I experienced a profound freedom. It was like I had taken a happy pill. It felt SO GOOD. I felt like I could do anything. And say anything.

When I supported others in saying what they were afraid to say, I saw the miracles and joy that this created in their lives too.

I decided to write Real Talk so that I could encourage more and more people to say what they aren’t saying. I want to continue to help people eliminate their silent suffering, complaints, resignation and stuckness. I am committed to all people being free to create lives they love.

“Our birthright is joy, happiness, and freedom,” I was taught in a course. “We don’t need to live in a right/wrong, good/bad, true/false world. We can live in a win/win world where we are all connected, belong, and experience a higher consciousness.”

I’m all in for this kind of planet. Real Talk is my current contribution to this mission. I believe that my Getting Real Process will help free people to access our birthright of profound joy.

Let’s live the Real Lives that we are meant to live.

Book Launch March 14th – Find Real Talk on Amazon.com on March 14th.

I started my interview with Bill Cohen wondering how I was going to get through the 55 minutes on Live Radio. I was distracted by someone knocking on my door and wondered if Bill was going to try to convert me to Jesus. As soon as someone mentions the bible, my eyes kind of glaze over. La dee da dee dah.

But, when Bill said that he spent 14 years and then another 20 proving that the Bible stories are true, I woke up and got curious.

“It’s all about love,” Bill said. “We need to accept Jesus in order to love others.”

“Wait a second,” I asked. “Can’t we just love ourselves? As a Jew, we don’t really do the Jesus thing. Can’t I just accept God instead? “

Bill told me why that won’t work. We discussed my take on Jesus and why accepting him was a problem for me. I can get loving each other, being kind, doing the right thing, but Jesus? I’m not sure.

We talked about Adam and Eve, Lucifer, doubt, and other fun topics.

The great thing was that I got to talk with someone who is knowledgeable and interested in a kinder, loving, gentler world. It was very interesting and we ended up running out of time.

Thank you, Bill, for your curiousity, commitment, and generosity.

Sunshine and light – she is the real thing.

Yesterday I conducted my second live interview on the Getting Real with Hilary Show with Lori Denman. 

I was impressed.

Lori told us about her childhood fascination with communication equipment and how she ended up working for Sprint for 30 years. When her career ended abruptly, she struggled with what to do next and did some serious soul searching. 

She created an unofficial mastermind with some friends of hers. They got in touch with what they really loved to do and their happy places. Lori conquered her fear of living in the unknown, and surrendered to her new future.

She started working with her husband in a business that took her a while to be able to talk about. 

Her husband is a former finance guy turned professional chef who specializes in chocolate. He started a chocolate business that was very successful about 10 years ago and then ran into supply chain issues.

His newest entrepreneurial effort is called Edgeoff.NYC. It’s ingenious and Lori is now his partner. They use cannabis to help people relax, reduce pain and become healthier. They are located at 560 Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn.

That is one of their adorable and ingenious products. Imagine – delicious, healthy chocolate that helps you chill, takes away your pain, and improves your health. What could be better?

Their next product line involves hemp “cheese” cake. It sounds delicious. 

Thank you, Lori, for your willingness to surrender, reinvent yourself, and be courageous enough to risk being called a “Stoner.” I love you.

PS You’ll have to watch the interview to hear all of the other good stuff. It will soon be at https://www.youtube.com/c/GettingRealWithHilary.  

Yesterday I recorded my first live show. It was on BBS Radio and went out to over 150 locations. I interviewed Bobby Collins, a 38 year veterian comedian. He has made his living doing comedy for all those years. Amazing. He is living the life many people can only dream of. And, he is a sweet heart of a man.

“Do the right thing,” is his motto. He grew up poor in Queens, NY as a shy boy. By high school, he became class president by using his humor to make friends and become popular. He taught high school and became a Garmento after college while honing his comedy craft. Eventually he took the full time leap into comedy and never looked back.

“I’m alive when I’m in front of an audience,” he said. “Before and after I’m a wreck, but while I’m on stage, I’m in the moment.”

“What’s the toughest challenge you’ve faced,” I asked.

I was surprised at his answer. I thought he would say sticking with the comedy or raising a special needs kid.

“Battling my mind that I’m not poor anymore.” I can’t remember his words exactly, but his facial expression will stick in my mind forever. He was grabbing his head with his hands and pulling his head up and down, squooshing his face together.

“You are not a poor boy from Queens anymore I have to keep telling myself. When my wife wants to spend money, it’s hard for me to just say yes. That’s my biggest challenge,” he continued.

I was nervous for 2 weeks before our interview. I didn’t know Bobby and didn’t know what the hell we would talk about for 55 minutes. I eased my anxiety by watching his comedy, reading his book, and talking to him on the phone a couple of times. That helped me understand more of who he is and what he stands for. I relaxed a little knowing we would just have a fun conversation.

As the minutes approached the 1:00 start time, my heart raced. Doug from BBS Radio was on the zoom with us. He has a great radio voice and did the introductions. Bobby and I started chatting at 1:00 on the nose. It was fun, but at 1:15 I had a moment of panic. How the hell were we were going to get through the next 40 minutes? What could we possibly talk about?

I took a breath and came back to the conversation. We made it through. Bobby is funny, generous, and a good person. I feel like I have made a wonderful new friend, even if we never actually speak again.

I learned life lessons by reading Bobby’s book, On The Inside. Bobby’s next appearances can be found at http://www.bobbycollins.com. His next gig is sold out, so don’t wait to reserve tickets for October 21 in Bethlehem, PA or or October 27th in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Thank you, Bobby for being my first!! And don’t worry, I know you’re married. (He reminded me at the end of the show). Your relationship is an inspiration to all of us!!

Thank you for being a role model for the world for how to do the right thing, be a good person, use your brain, and live your REAL life. Thanks for Getting Real with Hilary.

To find my show, click on https://bbsradio.com/thegettingrealwithhilaryshow.

If you haven’t subscribed to my newsletter, go to http://www.gettingrealwithhilary.com and subscribe.

I have not written a blog entry in a while because I now focus my efforts on my newsletter. If you haven’t subscribed to that, you can do so at http://www.gettingrealwithhilary.com.

I am writing today since it’s the middle of the week and I find myself in a terrible, whiny bitchy mood.

My new thing is to allow myself to be however I am. But it still seems wrong. After all:

• things could be worse
• I should be grateful to have the life I had
• I am healthy
• I am alive
• I have a wonderful family
• blah, blah, blah

So why am I in a bad mood? OK, here goes:

• I hurt my back and it’s uncomfortable
• It’s really hot out and I’m sweating even inside in the air conditioner
• I had an appointment with my book angel and she wasn’t available at that time, didn’t let me know, said she’d be available in an hour, and that was 2 hours ago. I AM ANNOYED!
• I looked in the mirror and I look disgusting (not a new thing)
• I was at my 45th high school reunion and there was a cute guy that acted like he liked me for about an hour and then disappeared – Friday and Saturday nights – WTF?
• I was so happy for those hours – now I feel like the world sucks again
• I know I am on the left side of life – that’s what I am writing my second book about
• But my techniques are not working – I am STILL ON THE LEFT!!
• I just took vitamin B and it’s not working!!
• OK, technique #503 – just be 1000 times more miserable – I forgot that one
• OK – thanks, I’ll do that one. I’m going to go curl up in a ball and whine.

Oh, the book angel is ready. Gotta go. Thanks for listening.

My son sent me a podcast by text with the message:

“This is amazing.”

It’s called 11 Steps to Better Brain Health and Success in Life with Dr. Daniel Amen.

I started listening in my car. It was amazing. I look forward to finishing it.

I am now sitting in my home, drinking my cup of coffee, and feeling the need to write so I can get some freedom.

What’s the problem?

I’ve only been through a few of the 11 steps on his podcast and I don’t like what I’m hearing:

• caffeine – drinking a cup of Java right now – there’s a big pot of coffee creaking on the warmer right now, reminding me there is more to drink
• alcohol – right now I’m not drinking because I’m following a 90 day program so I don’t feel bad currently about this one but I’m concerned about when I do go back to drinking
• exercise – I’m good with this one – I do it every day

I know I have the incredible ability to turn education/comments/anything into a way to feel bad. Isn’t that a wonderful talent?

A big screaming “NO!!!”

I am writing this blog so that I can use the information I heard today in a more useful way.

My grandmother had dementia and my mom has dementia. My mom drinks coffee. My dad also drank coffee. He did not have dementia. He died with his faculties intact. So it’s not a direct causal relationship. Conclusion: Not everyone who drinks coffee gets dementia.

Here’s where the fear came in: In the past few months I have not been able to think of a word. Maybe about 3 times. But it scared the crap out of me.

Tom Ferry, the interviewer, had 4 major concussions and also noticed that he couldn’t come up with words. Daniel Amen fixed his brain. He is now fine.

I will continue to listen. I will pass on the podcast to my siblings since we all have the same mother.

I also learned that brain cells don’t age. What causes the problem is the blood flow. When the blood flow decreases, it can cause problems.

I can taper off my coffee. I don’t know if decaf is any better, but I can research it.

I can keep learning, not panic, and enjoy my freaking cup of coffee.

Please pass this podcast on to anyone you know who is concerned about their brain health.

Thanks for listening.

I know I SHOULD be excited to go away, and I am, but it’s underneath a bunch of worries. For me, if I get them out, I can laugh about them and then get on with the FUN.

So here they are:

• I seem extra heavy in the body/weight – what happened was I saw a picture of myself yesterday and my brain went crazy telling me that I’m kidding myself to think I look good – YOU ARE A BEAST! It tells me. I will have to eventually let that go. I am only 1.4 pounds higher than 2 weeks ago. If I am a beast now, I was a beast then so I might as well enjoy my BEASTHOOD in all it’s glory.
• My hairdresser had COVID and so I have roots that are almost the size of COVID roots. Nothing I can do about it. Maybe I will only talk to short people so they can’t see the top of my head. Good plan.
• My teeth are bothering me. The 3 bottom ones turned brown and my teeth feel disgusting. A miracle: in an hour they are squeezing me in at the dentist for a cleaning. I begged. If I didn’t get one today, they don’t have anything until the end of March which was WAY TOO LONG.
• I finally got my nails done this week. I said it didn’t matter if I did them, but I was wrong. They are very short since I cut the crap out of them when I didn’t have a manicure, but at least they are not an EXTRA source of shame.
• Clothes – why do I get crazy about clothes when I go away? I know what I like to wear. Just bring THOSE. Also, my daughter, who I’m visiting, says I don’t have to impress anyone. So that’s good. Like I can just let my stomach hang out and know one will care? We will see about that one.
• Liquids – 3 ounces? that’s the size of a regular suntan lotion. I’m going to see if I can get it through security. It also said in a clear bag so I think I have to take them out of my black one and put them in a plastic clear bag. OY VAY!! Who made up these rules?
• Mask – UGH! For 5 hours? I guess other people do it so I can too.
• Books – I need books. I have been auditioning them so I don’t bring a dud. That’s just the way it is. I love to read good stuff.
• Work – already I am doing less today. I think that’s wrong. But it’s vacation. So, learn to relax, dear, that’s what it’s all about.
• My 2nd Book – I paid money to this guy who runs the WOW book club. I really wasn’t going to write another book. He said the first didn’t work since it was a memoir. People only want to read about famous people. Thanks alot, dude. So, I’m writing another one that’s not a memoir (sort of) because I do love to write. I will do it on the plane. That is not technically work.
• My podcast – I will let that alone for now. If I want to interview someone while I’m away, fine. If not, I won’t. I’ll revisit when I’m back. I am putting it on my list. And, I can be aware of inspirational people that I can ask to be on my podcast at all times.
• Completions – I was upset with 3 people. One called yesterday. One I talked to Tuesday. One I sent an email to this morning. So, yay for freedom.
• FUN and CONTRIBUTION – Once I get there, I will be there for my daughter. If I have to communicate to get out of my head, I will. Then I will return to taking care of her. I even took out extra cash which is a miracle for tight wadded me so we can just be crazy.

OK, I think that’s it. I have to go brush and floss for my dentist appointment. I am pretty much packed except for my carry on/purse. I think it is so big it will count as a second carry on, but that is something I will sort out at the airport with my MASK ON.

Thanks for listening and I will HAVE A GREAT TRIP!!! Whether I like it or not!!!

Above is my very first podcast. I recorded it and then it was produced by some other people. I’m not wild about how it looks, but I listened to it and was blown away by our conversation.

John Stack, my guest, has an amazing, riveting story. Grab your tissues and take a listen.

That being said, I am excited and nervous about podcasting. It’s new so:

• I don’t know how

• I want it to be great without having to be bad

• I don’t know how much money I have to invest in order to get it back

• Producing more will cost money if I want them to be good

• I am in the inquiry and don’t have to know the right answer yet

• I love having conversations with people that make a difference

OK, that’s all for now. Time to get back to/start working and it’s 3:08 PM in the afternoon. Oh well, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. (I actually have done ‘some’ work so don’t tell anyone I haven’t done ANY – they are already accusing me of having other things I am working on – OOPS!)

Thanks for listening. Let me know what you think of the podcast. It’s about awareness and this is a topic that is the difference between life and death. Seriously.