Well, what a difference a day makes. Communication created a whole new world for me. Watch the video to see how.

On another note:

This Corona is really playing havoc with my mood swings. I think they are faster and deeper than normal. High low high low high low………..And that’s just this minute. (Just kidding, sort of…)

My daughter called to tell me she was wheezing. I told her to schedule a call with the health provider on campus. It was at 2:40. It’s now 2:55. I’m waiting to see what they said. I am prepared to get in my car and drive 4 hours if she is in trouble. Oh that’s right, I am quarantined and there is social distancing. I could make it worse. And, I don’t want her to be alone.

Again, mood swing number 5216 of the day.

As for me and my health, I am drinking tumeric and ginger in hot water. I am taking vitamin C’s every few hours (when I remember). I am taking all sorts of other supplements. Doing whatever I can so that my once removed exposure does not result in me getting corona. I have no idea if that will work, but it makes me feel better.

For now, I am sitting in my house listening to the rain pour and trying not to look at the phone. Praying that my mom doesn’t get it. Wondering what it means that my sister didn’t feel well yesterday. Did she catch Corona from her husband?

All these questions don’t help my stress. It’s all the Feared For Future.

I’m now feeling hot. Is that a temperature? Stuff like that.

So, with your listening, I will return to being present. Listening to the waves calm me instead of freak me out that my house will be washed out to sea with me in it.

Turning fear to being grateful: I am able to bask in the love of family and friends. I love being alone in my waterfront cottage. I have enough toilet paper for at least a week, (obviously depending on how much I use). Little thing like that that I can be grateful for. I can breathe.

Stay healthy my friends. My vision is that we all feel connected to a global community. That we all feel unconditionally loved just as we are. And that we all get our unique greatness.

Thanks for listening.

Since I recorded that, I realized I missed leading a call that I had been scheduled to lead a couple of months ago. I had been looking forward to leading it and kept waiting for April 8th to come.

I was talking to one of my AFLAC agents during that time.

I saw a text from someone saying that she missed the noon call.

“OH SHIT,” I said. Panic ensued in my mind.

I texted my coleader and she said she was fine. No need to get on.

I called our consultant in charge and told her what happened. She went through the remaining calendar dates with me so it doesn’t happen again. I marked them down and put in reminders.

I can see I am having a hard time letting go that I made a mistake. I want to tell people so they can tell me it’s ok. I want to keep talking about it.

Why?

To prove I’m an idiot. To prove that I’m just a stupid loser who can’t be counted on to make good decisions.

Do I want to be right than I’m an idiot?

Do I want to be right that I am stupid?

Let me think about that.

The TRUTH IS: I was distracted by my outdoor social distancing visit from my friend who’s boss tested positive for Corona. I’m not totally present. Will we ever be able to visit normally again? Will this ever end? Is this the way life will be forever?

I guess I just miss being able to see this person. Rather than being with the unknown future and the discomfort of it all – will he get Corona? will I get corona? How bad will it be? Will my mom be ok? Will mom children be ok? Will money be ok? Will it ever get normal?
——————————————————————————————————————

I was resisting missing life as we knew it. I miss my friends. I miss my family. We don’t know when this will end or who will get sick. Who will be ok. Who will not. It’s uncomfortable.

Calling myself an idiot is familiar and known and easier. But I don’t have to do it. I can just be with I miss these people. It doesn’t make me stupid or wrong. And I can be sad. For a few minutes. And then I will be fine.

I’m really getting my mechanism. Instead of just feeling my feelings, I am making myself wrong for caring or thinking it will ever be different or believing that I could be happy. Easier to just call myself stupid than allow myself to stop resisting my experience.

I can still have faith, be present, and believe all is well. And this is the way life looks right now. And that I do have the right to be happy and live a life I love.

And it’s ok to be sad when I’m sad. Or mad. Or frustrated or scared.

And then return to being present.

I think I will go for a walk and listen to some uplifting music.

Thanks for listening.

I’m on a webinar so I can’t write right now. A busy day of phone calls and playing with my new, “Facebook Live: Half Hour with Hilary.” It’s really fun.

Hope you are healthy and safe.

More soon.

Thanks for listening.

I am really proud of what I did for my cousins. You’ll have to watch to see!!!!

When I’m not in my 7% of freaking out from my Feared For Future that isn’t really happening, I am quite happy being home.

My mom, God bless her, is happy and fine.

Why is that surprising? Well, she’s 90, living in my sister’s house, and my sister’s husband found out yesterday that he was positive for Corona. The test results came back yesterday after 10 freaking days.

Regardless, all is well. I am having fun.

I am creating something new that I talk about on the video. Too much wine to go into now.

Have a great night.

Thanks for listening.

Yes, that’s what my video is about. It was really fun to do. You can see it below.

Have you heard of the Quarantine 15?

I am hoping not to acquire those pounds.

I am, however, drinking red wine and eating my 40% reduced fat lays potato chips. I have 10 points left so I believe I am ok as long as I stop after this plastic cup and bowl of chips. (It’s a small bowl).

NEWS: I added another type of orgasm during my video. You will have to watch to find out!!!

I took a walk prior to pouring the wine. It was so windy that I could barely walk. I felt like I was climbing Mount Everest in the worst conditions. There were even wind surfers out on the beach. Come to think of it, they weren’t 6 feet apart. I should have called the police. (Just kidding, sort of).

I heard that people got arrested for having a wedding in New Jersey. Wow!! What were they thinking? Spending the honeymoon in jail? Well, at least the lodging is free, right?

Why such humor? Well, a friend of mine that I saw might have been exposed to someone with the virus. I’m enjoying myself while we wait for his test results. It’s like in the old days when you were afraid you were pregnant. Which is worse? I guess it depends on your perspective, right?

The difference is that the pregnancy tests only took a couple of minutes. My brother in law has been waiting over a week for his corona tests back. But let’s not go there. Hopefully it’s a non-event and my 90 year old mother who has been living in that house will be just fine. I’m staying in the present moment, ok?

Well, enjoy your night. Tomorrow is another day AT HOME!!!!

Thanks for listening.

Yes, folks. It was one of those days. Bad news everywhere.

93-94% of the time I am great. Grateful, living a great life, enjoying my free time, and creating a life I love, keeping the news in perspective, remaining calm, breathing and being present.

It’s the other 6-7% that scares me.

This video shows you both!!! Can you handle it?

I’m proud that I went for a walk instead of starting to drink. Now that I’m back, my big question: BEER OR WINE!!!

Well, time to open up one of the bottles. Enjoy your night.

Thanks for listening. Stay healthy and stay SANE!!!!

Is that how you spell opinionated? I guess so. It’s not turning red. I don’t think I’ve ever written that word before.

Today, however, I was a little stuck.

People with opinions that I didn’t like were like a craw in my side.

Why did it bother me so much? Who cares what they think?

I worked through it on my video and it took me almost 10 minutes to figure it out. But I finally did. Thank goodness. Now I can be free.

I also talk about how I am inspired with the leadership I have been seeing at my company. People who are not going down the tubes, but instead, are using their brains to come up with new, empowering solutions.

It’s very cool.

Well, it’s late. I really should change that picture, but, at least I’m laughing.

Have a great night.

Stay healthy.

Thanks for listening.

OK, did that get your attention? I hope so.

I am currently folding my underwear and putting it neatly in my little wicker container. I’ve meant to do this for months.

Today is the day. I am shocked at how many pairs I have. And, I probably only wore about 5 since they were the ones on the top before. I’d wear them, wash them, and then put them back on top.

How did I get so many? Well, when my GYN told me not to use panty shields anymore because they messed up the PH balance in our you know whats, I got a little nervous.

She told me to go buy a box of underwear at Costco. I bought two boxes and they were 12 packs in case I ran out of them too fast.

Let’s just say I have PLENTY!!!!!!

Oh, you want to know about the orgasm in the title?

Well, yesterday I was telling some people on a Zoom call that when I finally let out my crying, I finally felt saner and more free.

One of the girls said, “Yes, it feels great. Crying is the new ORGASM.”

We all laughed. I think that’s great and wanted to share it.

I happen to agree. It really is very nice to be able to let it all out. Body wracking, heaving sobs when you need to. It’s exhausting, but freeing.

And here’s the video:

I won’t give away what was so funny. Just that I had a great laugh.

Have a great day, folks!! Enjoy the freedom!!

Thanks for listening!

PS I just counted my underwear. I have 52 pairs. That’s ABUNDANCE!!!!!

Seriously?

Yes, well I’m working on it. I’m using my real life situation. You’ll have to watch the video to find out what it is.

I know it’s long, but……I get to some good stuff at the end.

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

My keratin is gone. I can’t find the beauty camera. But this is what life looks like right now.

I’m using myself to create freedom. Right now I’m doing it every 15 minutes to stay present.

And, I’m enjoying my time off and being at home. I love having the time to do the things that bring me joy – recording videos, writing blogs, reading, doing my puzzle, sitting in the sun, talking to friends, being on community zoom calls, exploring ways to create freedom, and exploring ways to have people create their lives and get their greatness. What an amazing opportunity to do that.

I hope everyone is healthy and safe. I am praying and meditating and even doing yoga.

Have a great day.

Thanks for listening.

I discuss this on my video.

It’s long and rambling but I certainly had fun doing it.

Is it time to drink yet? It’s almost 5:00. I’m not even pretending not to enjoy a couple of pops each night. Since there is no weight watchers, I’m not getting weighed.

I am tracking carefully, though, so don’t worry.

I actually feel like I am doing great in the eating department and that is just not normal for me. Usually I’m freaking out expecting weight gains. I guess because there’s no meetings, I can relaz. Scary but true.

For me to feel like I’m doing ok is truly not normal. I mean, enjoying myself. For instance:

• I am starting to enjoy being home and not working
• I love not having to plan out my work outfit the day before
• I love that I am here by myself listening to the waves and looking at the water
• I love that I don’t have to go out prospecting or make calls to sell people
• I love being here alone

The only drawback:

• not making sales so no money – OOPSIE!!!
• I guess I don’t have a choice right now so I will enjoy it anyway

Here’s the video. A little long, but what have you got to do anyway? (Giggle)