From Blah to Freedom

That’s what I do. Create freedom when I am stuck in the dark place.

I need to create some now.

There is nothing wrong. And yet, my thoughts tell me there is.

  • my back hurts
  • I have a not very attractive cyst on my face
  • my hip hurts
  • I have a call at 6:00 (in 6 minutes)
  • and then a seminar from 7:00-9:30
  • someone told me I should try being gluten free for 3 weeks to see if I stop getting cysts and feel better.

I don’t want to do ANYTHING, especially not eat the delicious bread I bought yesterday.

Here’s what it is:

I think when I don’t want to do something, I’m wrong. I think I “should” want to. It’s that ugly word should again.

Damn it. I thought I got rid of that one.

Well, I think that’s all it is. I should be perky and peppy and pain free and want to do EVERYTHING that’s good for me.

And I don’t.

What I’d like to do is:

  • go to sleep after reading a delightful book
  • numb myself with something like GLUTEN, chips, CHEESE, or alcohol. I was even thinking of taking some tylenol so I could be less in pain.

Here’s my access to freedom instead of sleeping or numbing:

  • stop resisting the discomfort
  • be 10 times more uncomfortable
  • MOAN
  • experience my experience

OK, that’s good. I am no longer resisting the blahs, and they’ve actually disappeared. It’s a miracle.

OK, just got my call.

I am free.

Thanks for listening.

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