That’s what I do. Create freedom when I am stuck in the dark place.
I need to create some now.
There is nothing wrong. And yet, my thoughts tell me there is.
- my back hurts
- I have a not very attractive cyst on my face
- my hip hurts
- I have a call at 6:00 (in 6 minutes)
- and then a seminar from 7:00-9:30
- someone told me I should try being gluten free for 3 weeks to see if I stop getting cysts and feel better.
I don’t want to do ANYTHING, especially not eat the delicious bread I bought yesterday.
Here’s what it is:
I think when I don’t want to do something, I’m wrong. I think I “should” want to. It’s that ugly word should again.
Damn it. I thought I got rid of that one.
Well, I think that’s all it is. I should be perky and peppy and pain free and want to do EVERYTHING that’s good for me.
And I don’t.
What I’d like to do is:
- go to sleep after reading a delightful book
- numb myself with something like GLUTEN, chips, CHEESE, or alcohol. I was even thinking of taking some tylenol so I could be less in pain.
Here’s my access to freedom instead of sleeping or numbing:
- stop resisting the discomfort
- GET INTO IT
- be 10 times more uncomfortable
- FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF
- experience my experience
OK, that’s good. I am no longer resisting the blahs, and they’ve actually disappeared. It’s a miracle.
OK, just got my call.
I am free.
Thanks for listening.