Did you ever do something you thought was really great? And the reaction from your parents wasn’t what you wanted to hear?
When I was 11 years old, I had ONE B and the rest A’s.
“Why did you get the one B?” my father asked.
I know he was kidding, but my whole life, I’ve been kind of a victim about how I can’t get it right.
No matter what, it’s never going to be okay.
No matter what I do, it’s never enough.
I always joke about how if I won the Nobel Peace Prize, I would ruin the moment by whining, “Well, I should have gotten it last year!”
Isn’t that crazy?
I haven’t recognized any of my accomplishments because there was always something that I could have done better. I only saw what I didn’t do!
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt that, but that was how I felt, always suffering like a victim.
What I realized is a lot of people have that story, and IT’S JUST A STORY!
What if we could be present to our accomplishments? Imagine the change in our outlook and energy. Imagine how we would feel about ourselves.
What if when we were failing we said “Wow, I need to get better. Aren’t I courageous for trying?”
That would be different, wouldn’t it?
Here’s what I learned:
- It’s okay not to be perfect.
- It’s okay to have room for improvement.
It’s okay for me to hear, “Hey, you need a little more energy in these videos,” or, “Hey, what do you think you did differently that you are up 1 pound?” (yikes)
It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean I’m not okay and that my life is bad.
That one report card where I got the one B was pretty awesome, and even though the next time I went on to get all A’s, you know what?
There really was no difference in my life between the one B and the all A’s.
I love you, Dad.
I miss you, Dad.
It’s okay.
We are not our results.
We can be free, we can learn new things, we can be bad to be good and just keep going, keep having fun and enjoying our life.
So I don’t know if there’s any areas in your life where you say, “Oh, gee, if only I had done that. If only this, if only that.”
Well guess what?
It doesn’t really matter. You can still enjoy your life, you can still be free, and you can still have fun.
I hope this helps you alter your relationship to failure and use it to empower yourself instead of feeling bad! It’s okay not to be perfect!!
Let me know in the comments about how you deal with failure.
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