I was in a Vacation Course in Mexico about having freedom with our bodies.
The suggestion over one of the breaks was: “Maybe you want to talk to your bodies.”
I went back to my room and looked in the mirror.
“My boobs need a conversation,” I thought.
“You know what, I’m sorry that I’ve been ashamed of you my whole life,” I said out loud to my boobs.
A memory popped into my mind. Bob, my 9th grade boyfriend, repeated a comment his step-father had said to him.
“Wow, I didn’t realize Hilary was so well endowed,” his step-father had said to him.
I was embarrassed. I didn’t want people making those comments. It made me uncomfortable, and I kind of walked hunched over after that. I tried to hide my boobs so people wouldn’t notice them. All of a sudden I was ashamed of my boobs.
That day in the hotel I stared at my boobs. They seemed to answer me inside my head.
“Hey, maybe he was just an inappropriate pedophile, or an inappropriate pervert, and he should not have made that comment.”
“Wow.” I stood up straighter. I never thought of that. Maybe I didn’t have to be ashamed. Maybe it was just an inappropriate comment.
I went back to the class and I told them the story.
“Wow, you have really smart boobs,” one of the participants said.
“Yeah, I do,” I said.
There was one person in the course who kept bragging about how she went to Harvard. It was annoying.
“Hey, my boobs didn’t go Harvard,” I added. “But they did go to Wharton.”
Everyone laughed.
And through that, I got freedom not to be ashamed of my body. It wasn’t my fault he said that comment. He was just inappropriate.
I starting being proud of my body after that. I started standing up taller and walking differently and my life has never been the same. That was a miracle.
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