I can see lately that I have been thinking very negatively about myself. And my thoughts have seemed very true until yesterday. Here is an exercise that I did with myself to create something NEW AND EMPOWERING. It has given me a new life instead of the old, poor me context.
I am using 3 arenas of life. These are personal so no judging, please.
WORK ARENA
- Chronic Thinking: I am bad at sales. I’m not like everyone else. I can’t close. I can’t do it. Something is wrong with me. It’s hopeless and I feel powerless. My sales haven’t been very good lately so they will never be good again. I’m wasting my time. I can’t learn the scripts or improvise like the good sales people.
- Chronic Evidence: Some days I don’t book an appointment when I’m calling. Some appointments don’t happen. I don’t close every appointment. People are rude when I call. One woman called me a “little abrasive.” (NOTE: I have been using these facts to prove I suck even though this is normal for sales).
- Interruption: I got a bonus for the first quarter for my performance. I won money in last week’s contest for coming in number 4 in the market. I am the longest standing sales manager in the market.
- Something new to tell myself: I am doing fine. I don’t give up. If I just keep collecting more no’s, I’ll get more yes’s. I am great at listening and taking care of people. I love a challenge. I am a hero.
MEN/RELATIONSHIPS/DATING
Chronic Thinking: Men are full of shit. Relationships start out good (some of them) and then turn bad and I can either stay and suffer or get out. The good doesn’t last and I’m an idiot and a dreamer for thinking it could and I can have what I want.
Chronic Evidence: Men have made promises at the beginning that they don’t keep. I am powerless to have what I want because it doesn’t matter what I say. I am happier when I am alone. If I speak up they act like I am high maintenance. Some have lied about being available.
Interruption: I just got out of a relationship where we didn’t want the same things. I am asking men what they want and if they are single. I have more men responding to my profile than I know what to do with. I can keep creating what I want.
Something new to tell myself: Dating and men are fun. I love this. (OK, I have to work on this one). There are an abundance of great men out there and I can enjoy getting to know them. I am excited about finding the one that wants the same things, is willing to work things out, and is up for a great adventure for life.
Note: I want to throw up right now AND, I am looking at what I am trying to prove. Give me a little time on that one.
MY COMITMENT TO THE WORLD – That all people are free to create lives they love.
Chronic Thinking: I can’t do it right. I don’t know what I am doing. I’m an idiot for thinking I can REALLY make a difference.
Chronic Evidence: I am having a hard time registering people into my course. I led an inquiry over the weekend and 2 people didn’t like my second question. Sometimes I feel stupid after sharing.
Interruption: I have led almost two whole courses of my “Getting Unstuck with Hilary” program. People have new lives and are creating what they want. They are unrecognizable. When I coach people, they see something new that creates freedom for them. I make a difference when I share. I say what other people are thinking and it frees them.
Something new to tell myself: I make a difference. The results don’t determine my self worth. I am a courageous pioneer. My exploration transforms people. I am a successful and brilliant creator.
You can try this little exercise at home.
Where do you see that you are proving something negative about yourself? It is easy to gather evidence for that because it’s habitual. What could you gather evidence for that could be empowering? Fill out the 4 sections above in any area where you feel disempowered. Let me know what happens.
NOTE: I’m not saying I don’t have resistance to the new thoughts, especially around men. I can PROVE that I’m right given my past. I just don’t want to prove that anymore.
Please comment about what opens up for you.
Thanks for listening.
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