And the Growing Pains Continue

OMG – at least I was down 2 pounds today. The last two weeks I was up and I was getting concerned.

I am sticking with my 12 hour fast if only because I eat less crap at night. And, after today I see that it’s working for me.

I’m not going to compare myself to the 16 hour ‘fasters’. OK? This is MY plan. It’s what I can handle right now. Gotta it?

OK, moving on………..I’ve had another emotional roller coast today. Luckily it was a false alarm and that’s all I’ll say. Phew!!!

Next: I brought the concept of self-advocating to Weight Watchers today by mistake.

Last week some WW people said that they asked for meals without butter or oil when in a restaurant. I never thought of that.

When I told some relatives who work in a restaurant about it they were horrified.

“That is wrong,” they said. “Let them splurge. You can’t ruin the recipe. They CAN NOT do that. They should just eat it as is. Let them ask for plain fish if they need to.”

They were shaming people. I was shocked.

Today I started telling my group that they shouldn’t ask for that. The cooks will get mad.

Boy was I surprised when they didn’t care. They were going to get what they wanted! Let them get mad. It wasn’t a problem for them.

Ga-dunk!!! I had another awakening.

Some people are just not nice about certain things. You might call them arrogant, self-righteous ass holes. I shouldn’t worry if they get mad. That’s just what they do. It’s not my fault.

No one should be shamed for asking for what they want or need. DUH!!!

My people pleasing not wanting to upset anyone mechanism was called into question again. Wow!!

It is great that I am seeing this at the ripe old age of 60. WTF? Well, better late than never.

I always blamed myself for getting someone mad. I shouldn’t have asked. Again, GA-DUNK!

NEXT: I am healing my little girl incident. In this video I ask my dad for forgiveness for making him into a monster. He was just angry, frustrated and triggered. He was a great dad and I miss him.

So, the healing and growing continues. There is freedom beyond them thar hills!!!! And it’s uncomfortable to get there but I will not stop.

Thanks for taking the journey with me.

More later. Gotta get back to work.