I Think I Lied

Yesterday I said I was going to say that “SUCCESS IS EASY.”

I was empowered, positive and HOPEFUL!!!

Even this morning I was envisioning success, on the phones, making calls, and expecting fucking miracles.

Driving home from my last appointment, I was thinking not only is SUCCESS HARD, it’s VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE AND NOT WORTH GOING AFTER.

If I count the number of “dings”, I probably won’t be surprised that I am now FRUSTRATED, RESIGNED and PATHETIC (Willa likes me to call it powerless but I prefer PATHETIC – Willa is the person helping me with my book and she hates when I call myself pathetic)!!! Yes, I said PATHETIC.

Here’s what happened:

1. DING 1: A client told me their board decided not to offer AFLAC to any of their employees. The one person who has something can keep it. But don’t come in or call them anymore basically.
2. DING 2: Another client told me they had 4 new people, no one was interested, and no need to make a visit this year.
3. My client, who was about to buy a cancer plan, told me he needed to think about it and to call him next week.
4. My new agent scheduled a new client that I HAD FOUND on a day that I can’t go. WTF?

The last one pisses me off. It’s MY client. I worked hard for it. She was helping and says she can’t get her to change the date. WTF? It’s on a Saturday when the account opening office is closed. And then she wouldn’t pick up the phone so I could explain this.

I guess it’s 4 dings and I flat line. Done. I’m done. I’m FUCKING DONE!!

Let’s add that my daughter’s expensive insurance isn’t covering her physical and lab test for the tune of $1100. Who the FUCK do you think is going to have to pay for that?

You got it!!! ME!!!

And before that, I was having a great day!! Sold a dental plan, lost 2 pounds, great cardio workout, making calls, visualizing my success, thin body, great man, and best selling book as well as getting paid lots of money for my inspiring, life changing speaking.

BOOM!!! 4 dings and I’m out. (I had always thought it was 3).

Frustration is a childlike response. OK, I get it. I want people to do what I WANT THEM TO DO!!! What’s wrong with that?

I guess nothing if you’re 3 years old.

So what can I do?

I can keep making calls to new places.

I can call the woman myself and reschedule it for when I can be there.

I can grow up the conversation to say that I’d prefer people to do what I want them to, but since I can’t control what they do, I can accept their actions. (A little too mature, frankly, but isn’t that the idea?)

ANOTHER NOTE:

I am trying to finish eating by 5:00 so I can have 14 hours of fasting. It’s my new thing. I’ve done it 3 days and lost 2 pounds. 5:00 is a little early and I’m a little nervous so I’m shoveling food in my mouth because I have to leave in a few minutes.

I don’t know if this is a good strategy. We will see. At least it’s something new.

OK, gotta go.

Thanks for listening. As almost always, I feel better acknowledging my childish expectations and reactions. It feels better than just silently thinking I’m an idiot. Better to do it publicly!!!!!

ADIOS!!!!