Yesterday, I finally got mad and asked my daughter, “HOW the fuck could you forget to let me know that you weren’t coming? I don’t get it. How does that happen? Please tell me.”
She tried to tell me.
“I still don’t get it. You were on the way. I was waiting. How do you just not call?”
And again, it didn’t matter what she said.
The good part was I finally got mad. I finally spoke up.
I stopped being a silent victim.
That’s the growth. I CAN be mad, sad, disappointed. AND, the new part, I can let people know how I feel.
I don’t have to sit back, being the “good, understanding one.”
I CAN SPEAK UP!!!
Instead of being insulting, sarcastic, and never forgiving which I was just now.
She’s supposed to come over later. I’m now afraid she’ll FUCKING FORGET like yesterday!!!
The worst part is that I need her help on some handouts that she worked on. I am dependent on her help and I HATE IT!!!! I can’t even fucking bold them since they were done on her computer. They are unreadable because they are on a pink background and the black is showing that well.
I hate being dependent on someone. My speaking gig is tonight. I would like these handouts DONE!!!!!! I’m nervous and want to be prepared.
Game plan: If she is not here by 1:15 I will do them myself. I will trust her, but have a back up plan.
How does that sound? Until then, I am going to do other things. Just put all this aside. I’ll see if that works!!!
Thanks for listening. (Can you tell I still want to scream? I better start BREATHING!!!!)