In the last 45 minutes, I was yawning and watching the clock.
We went into breakout sessions to practice sharing what we got out of the Course on Sharing. It consisted of two weekends a couple of months apart, and an hour each Saturday in between. I didn’t think I had anything to say.
Until a few people shared what they got. My eyes started misting.
“I’ll go,” I said. “What I got is the possibility of peace. My whole life has been running after my to do list. I haven’t had time to talk to people. If someone talked too long or too slow they were an idiot that I didn’t have time for. Now I am so relaxed that I am yawning. I can finally just sit and listen without trying to control everything and make sure we “get the jog done.”
A few other people shared.
“I have some more,” I said. “I also can create the possibility of love. My mother has been one of those people that I didn’t have time for. I hated that that’s how it was for me, but I didn’t know how to change it. Now, I can hear everything she says as a contribution. And also hear everything as love. For the first time, I am really looking forward to seeing her. I am not going to be in a rush. I am going to just sit and listen. Or share with her. She is 89, and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to say that for.”
Of course I was crying. As I wiped my eyes and nose I felt the difference in my whole body. The stress was gone. The anxiety was gone. The need to control things and be upset if someone was talking too long was gone. The need for it to “be fair” was gone.
All that was left was peace and love. I don’t think I’ve ever been so relaxed and connected to the human race.
Other interesting notes:
One woman shared that she created the possibility of being loved completely and hearing everything as an expression of love. This resonated with me.
Another comment was that “we are being our listening.” So I interpret that as if I listen from something is wrong, then I am being that. If I listen from I’m afraid I’m annoying, I’m being annoying. Not sure about this one, just gave me food for thought.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring in this new state? The opportunity to create a possibility is when we are threatened by our usual stuff, and living in our familiar survival mode. For me it’s when I think I am being criticized or disapproved of. Now this will be an opportunity to listen to everything as a contribution and expression of love. Could be easy if I say so. Everything can be easy and fun if I say so.
Life is going to be fun and easy!!!!!! Why the f—k not?