What’s Running the Show?

My premise when I used to coach people is that first they have to puke out what’s there before they can create something new.

I have been in the process of creating the relationship of my dreams.   For years.

Are you close one might ask.

And the inside me would say no I am the world’s biggest failure.

But the NEW ME says yes, I am so freaking close I can taste it.

But there might be a few lingering dis-empowering thoughts buried deep in my brain.  I am going to do a core dump.  (That’s a term from my system days I used to hear and I don’t even know what it means but I am going to borrow it).

Here are just a few of them:

• I should look a certain way
• Someone can be attracted to me only if I am “dolled up” with my best clothes and make up and hairdressed hair.  If not, don’t worry about it, they ain’t looking. I’m invisible.
• I need to act a certain way
• I certainly can’t REALLY be myself.  No one could love that
• Relationships start out with people on their best behavior.  It doesn’t last so why bother?
• I’m invisible
• I’m too old
• My skin is too wrinkled
• My body is NOT like a 20 year old’s.  That’s who men fantasize over, not women my age
• I can’t trust my instincts to pick someone good
• If my past is an indication, I am screwed.  Give up.
• Other people might be able to have good ones, but not me
• What if I get into a relationship and then I decide I don’t like him?  Breaking up is hard to do.  Why bother?

OK that’s it.  Time for a nap.  This has exhausted me.

I’m back.

• No one could actually put up with me.
• They will start out nice, but the real guy will eventually emerge and he’s always an ass hole (sort of a repeat of one above, but it SEEMS REAL).

OK, if I think of more, I’ll add them.

Now, what I have decided to “manifest” is attracting an extraordinary single man in my proximity.  (That means he’s right here and easy to meet and talk to).  There will be flow, ease, and be exactly what I’m looking for.  It will be effortless and wonderful.  And, I can definitely have it.

So, now I can relax and enjoy my life.

But before I do, one more thing.

I was also confused about the law of attraction. I kept thinking I was doing it wrong.  You’re supposed to shoot out rockets of desire and then be “in the vibration to attract it.”  (My interpretation may not be exactly accurate).

I couldn’t stop thinking about my last couple of narcissist/sociopaths and so I KNEW I wasn’t in the right vibration to attract something different.  It didn’t seem like negativity is the correct vibration to bring me an extraordinary man.  I was more focused on what I didn’t want and didn’t know how to change it.

Thinking just brings in more of my disenchanted past.

Then I had a brain storm.  I can connect to my heart.  I can generate love in my heart instead of battling the thoughts in my mind.  That is much easier for me.

The love can displace the fear for me.  It can create peace and power instead of paranoia and pain.  (I was trying to use p’s).

That I can do.

I’ll keep you posted.

 

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