This Is How To Change Your Children’s Lives for The Better!
When I was in high school, I used to do a lot of things.
✔️I was a cheerleader.
✔️I was in the orchestra.
✔️I was in the band.
✔️I was in the chorus.
✔️I played tennis.
And I was a top student..
I would show up at my piano lessons in my cheerleading uniform, holding my flute, school books and tennis racket.
“You are a jack of all trades and a master of none,” my teacher told me one day.
I didn’t know what he meant but it didn’t sound good.
I showed up to my lessons without ever practicing. I thought I was a pretty good sight-reader and I was getting away with it.
One day my piano teacher taped me. He played back the recording.
“Stop it,” I said. “Please turn that off.”
I was shocked at how horrible it sounded. I mean, here I thought I’d been getting away with it and he knew the whole time that I was not practicing.
He taped me several weeks in a row and made me listen. It was horrible. Finally I cried to my mother about how mean this guy was.
Being a music teacher herself, she couldn’t understand what was going on . She went in to talk to him.
“Why do you make Hilary cry? What’s happening here?”
His answer changed my life. He said, “Well, because she has talent.”
When my mother told me that, I couldn’t believe it.
No one has EVER told me I had talent. All these years of piano, flute and harp lessons and I never once heard that I had talent. I just went. It’s what there was to do.
After that, I started practicing. I practiced and practiced and practiced and had a senior recital that I’m very proud of. Taking lessons became something very different after that. It became something I was good at instead of just going because it’s what I was supposed to do.
I also figured out that that’s why he said I was the master of none. I flitted from one thing to the next without really working hard at any of them. In college, I became more focused on just a few activities. I was elected captain of my squash team and the president of my sorority. I was happy to finally be a leader.
What this lesson taught me was that Encouragement, compliments, acknowledgement, and telling somebody they’re good at something can change their lives. It’s way more effective than insulting them or being mean.
That’s what I started doing with my kids. And that’s what I try to do with everybody – tell them what’s good about them instead of what’s wrong or focusing on their mistakes.
Is there anyone in your life that you could give a compliment to?
Is there someone to whom you could say: “Wow, you’re really great at that. Keep going?
Or what about yourself? Can you encourage yourself instead of what I was doing, which was tearing myself down and telling myself I was no good.
The encouragement and the compliment changed my life. Could it change yours?
Please let me know what happens.
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