I seem to have this thing that I am “caught in the middle.”
If two people have opposing views and they both voice them to me, I start getting agitated.
Like I’m supposed to do something.
Let’s take the vaccine. There are two opposing views:
- If you don’t get vaccinated you will die and you are ruining the world because the virus is mutating because of you. You are selfish and stupid. What is wrong with you?
- The vaccine causes blood clots, cancer and possible death. Why would I do that to myself? Why is this a political matter? Who is behind this? What is wrong with our country?
Now, if I take these at face value, someone is right and the others are in deep trouble and could die. Which side is right? Who do I have to convince to change their mind in order to save their life?
This weekend I was in a course and I looked at this “being in the middle.” It really seems like there is something I have to do to “save people.”
I got that way last night, too. I was hearing complaints about my mom that she wasn’t behaving properly with her caregiver. My job was to see what is going on since I live there. I got frightened.
“Mom, you have to behave. If you don’t, no one will be able to take care of you and they will take you some place else you might not like.”
“Who will take me away?” she asked, curiously.
I didn’t say anything. I don’t know if that will happen. Maybe it’s not true. Maybe I made it up because I am frightened and think there is something I need to do to save her.
It seems to be a theme. That I need to save people and if I don’t, somehow the consequences of their actions and opinions are my fault.
It is a big burden and very egotistical if I really look at it. Why do I think I need to save the world? That people don’t have the right to their own actions and beliefs? That I should come in with my cape and save people? It’s ridiculous if I think about it.
Maybe it’s better if I can just take care of myself and trust that others can take care of themselves. Then I could live a more peaceful and less stressed life.
I don’t have to be upset when I hear different opinions. I don’t have to worry about what is the truth.
I can be present and be love and trust the universe. I think I will try that. I am really tired from trying to do it the other way. It’s exhausting and there is no end to the struggle.
Do you ever feel like you need to save somebody?
Do you ever feel like you need to fix somebody?
Do you ever worry about someone else and think you need to do something?
What if you could let all that go and enjoy your life? How would your life look?
Let me know what you think in the comments. I’m curious to hear what you see.
Thanks for listening and have a great day.