My whole life, I thought I had to be nice. I was nice, people pleasing, and pleasant.
But inside, I was resenting people and not enjoying my life.
What I found out recently is that there’s a difference between nice and kind.
Nice isn’t even real! Nice isn’t even authentic! Nice is pretending!
I don’t know if you’ve ever met someone who you kind of like, they’re nice, but you kind of just don’t feel a good vibe from them. And you can’t put your finger on it.
Well sometimes that’s me. Because I always thought I had to be nice. I thought the only other option was MEAN. And that just wasn’t me.
What I’ve learned lately is that I can be kind, direct and firm, Instead of nice, pretending, and accommodating others. I can take care of myself and what works for me, without being mean.
For example, some people like to talk to me for a long time on the phone. In the past, when I had to get off, I was afraid to tell them. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I would just listen, roll my eyes and hope something would happen and I would be able to escape.
Now, what I’ve learned is I can just say, “Hey, I got 10 minutes. How can I help you?”
I can be kind, direct and have the life I want instead of being a victim and resentful.
My question to you is, where in your life are you being nice because you don’t want to be mean, and not getting what you want and suffering?
Where could you turn that to kind and direct and have life work for you, as well as them?
That’s my question for the day. I hope it helps.
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