So what I saw this week was that I have this list of things📝 that I need to be or have in order to feel okay.
Here’s what happened:
I had broken up with a gentleman when I saw that the relationship wasn’t serving my best self. I was so happy🤗, I felt powerful. I was standing for my life and what I wanted. YAY ME!! I am woman hear me roar, and all that great stuff.
But a couple of seconds later, I heard this little voice saying, “Well, how are you going to find another guy?🤷♀️ How are you going to get someone else?”
“Why do I need someone else?🤷♀️ I was just feeling good two seconds ago.” I wondered. “What the hell happened?”
And I realized I have a list. Because all of a sudden, all my concerns and considerations were shouting in my head: “Well, your body’s not okay.❌ You need to lose those five pounds. And look at those wrinkles.👵 You’ll never get another guy. You’re just not ok.” My voice said.
I realized, “Wow, I have a list of how I need to be, to be okay. To not go over to the left side, where nothing’s good, I suck, the world sucks, and I have no power. I’ve got to look a certain way, my bank account has to be a certain way,💵 I can’t have any credit card balances,💳 or I go down the tubes.”
It was amazing. I started wondering about it.
“Who made this list up? I don’t know. Maybe I inherited it. Maybe I made it up. Who knows, but it’s not true. What’s the difference if I have a balance on my credit card in terms of my inherent value? If I gain five pounds, does that mean I should hate myself?😕 What if it’s possible to just love life right now, exactly as it is, and not have to fix myself?😬 Wow!”
That’s what I’ve taken on in the last few days after seeing that little conversation.
And I’ll tell you what, I don’t always remember it, but I’m practicing it.💯
The list can get triggered by almost anything: a glimpse in the mirror, or at my bank account, or not seeing a text on my phone. But now, when I start feeling bad again, I can just remember:
“Wait. That’s the list. Let it go.”👍
So my question to you is, do you have a list❓
Are there certain things that you need to do or have to feel like you’re something? A success,📈 or that you’ve made it, or that you look good?
Well, just check it out and see, is that really true?👍 Is that really a universal law that these things have to happen before you feel good about yourself?
I’d be fascinated to find out. Let me know, and tell me if you get any freedom, because I sure did!🙋♀️
Check out my course: http://www.gettingunstuckwithhilary.com to learn more tools and techniques for getting free and creating a life you love.