I don’t know why the type is so small. I don’t know how to fix it. I guess I will have to wear my glasses. Whatever……..
This week I was in SUCH A FUNK. I haven’t been in such a bad one for a while.
I was looking at my results in my sales job and in enrolling new people into my course. I was horrified. I have literally sold and enrolled 0 people. Not one, not 2, but ZERO. Zilch. Nada. NO ONE.
It was physical as Olivia Newton John (I think) used to sing. (Actually it was called “Let’s Get Physical,” well I was close.)
I felt sick. Body aches, head-ache, runny nose, lethargic, and, of course, exhausted.
The good news is that I still went through the motions. I made my calls, shared with people, and still worked out.
The bad news is I felt fucking miserable and seemingly accomplished nothing.
Last night we had our “Happiness” seminar. We looked at Empowerment and Disempowerment.
I didn’t need to TRY to be disempowered. I already was. I was so disempowered that I fell asleep during the exercise and missed switching back to EMPOWERED. I was a blob all night.
I woke up still being a blob.
“I don’t want to,” kept repeating in my mind. “I don’t want to do 150 regular squats and sumo squats. I don’t want to make calls. I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to talk to ANYONE.”
I stopped resisting the blob. I said ok. No problem. I don’t want to. I took my time while I put on my exercise clothes.
I turned on my exercise app and started squatting. I did the 150 of each even though I didn’t feel like it.
And guess what? By the time I was done, so was the blob. It was gone.
And here’s the thing.
I have had results. I am doing fine financially.
They just didn’t fit my pictures of how it should look so I invalidated my whole fucking life. It’s what the construct of disempowerment does.
It took my expected results and FUCKED ME UP!!!
In my course, “Getting Unstuck with Hilary,” I took on creating freedom in the area of success. This is what I’m adding to my list of what stops me:
When my results don’t match up to my expectations, I invalidate the shit out of myself, everything I’ve ever done, anything I will do, I’m an idiot for even trying and I should just go bury myself in the sand outside.
Actually, that’s not true. I don’t stop the actions. I keep going. But I no longer have the belief that I can accomplish what I set out to. My energy sucks, my attitude sucks, I feel sorry for myself, and I become a victim to my poor pathetic life.
And that can happen in a few seconds. Incredible, right?
Well, now I’m aware. I can add this to my list for how to “GET UNSTUCK with Hilary.”
Thanks for listening.