I had to stop resisting my annoyance with my mom. I felt like a terrible person, daughter and human.
This video talks about how I got free from that. (Also, see tips below)
I use this week’s quote: “Are you waiting for someone else to change so you can be happy?”
I’ve heard the little voice in my head many times:
“If he/she didn’t say stuff like that I could be happy,”
Any time I take something the wrong way, it affects my mood/happiness. Instead of wishing people were different, I am now looking at how I can react instead. Here are my tips for when you are waiting for someone to change so you can be happy:
- Notice if you are upset with someone else’s behavior/comments
- Notice if you are wishing they would change
- If so, consider the fact that they will probably never change
- Given that, you have some choices to make
- accept them as they are
- or alter your reaction
- or accept your reaction
- Example from the video:
- I get annoyed when my mother asks a lot of questions, especially when I’ve already told her the answers or that I don’t know them
- I don’t think I should be annoyed so I try to be pretend nice which just makes me feel like I want to explode or run away
- I wish she would change so I could be happy
- I realize she’s NEVER going to change or be different
- I accept her and accept that it annoys me
- Once I allow my annoyance, magically I feel free.
- I can answer her questions, joke around and have a good time with my mother instead of feeling of wanting to avoid her and spend as little time with her as possible
It’s quite remarkable since for a Long Long time I really didn’t enjoy being around my mom for this reason. I felt terrible knowing that I was being so nasty, not appreciating her, not being grateful that she is still here, wondering what’s wrong with me since some people have lost their mothers, etc.
All that just made me feel worse for feeling that way.
Allowing my annoyance and finally not resisting it gave me freedom.
I hope this makes sense. It’s a little tricky, but it works.
Thanks for listening and have a great day.