Feeling Bad or Feeling Bad for Feeling Bad?

This is a question that I’ve been asking myself this week. I could see that I was trapped inside of a disempowering paradigm.

“I know I shouldn’t complain,” one of my friends said.

“I know I shouldn’t be in a bad mood,” I would think.

“I know I should be positive and grateful instead of like this,” someone else said.

“Don’t worry, it will be ok,” someone told me.

“It’s a beautiful day,” someone else said when I was trying to tell them what was going on.

Here’s what I want to know:

“WHO THE HELL SAID WE COULDN’T OR SHOULDN’T BE UPSET?”

“WHERE IS THE RULE BOOK THAT SAID THAT HAPPY POSITIVE PEOPLE ARE THE CORRECT ONES AND THE REST OF US ARE MISERABLE, COMPLAINING LOSERS?”

“WHO?” Now I am screaming inside my head very loudly. “WHO?”

Good question I answer myself…………

I think it was my mother. And maybe her mother before her. Somebody must have told them this because I certainly didn’t make it up.

Here’s the thing. I’ve never seen the rule book that says this.

Even so, I’ve spent most of my life thinking I should only be happy and positive which has led me to be pleasant, phony, and READY TO SCREAM MOST OF MY LIFE.

I’m done, folks. I am going to BE how I AM. This is Getting Real with Hilary.

Watch me.

And, since I’ve probably said this before and not done it, I know I am going to have to firstly remember I said it, and secondly practice it.

• by saying what I don’t think I can say
• by sharing how I REALLY FEEL
• and instead of running away when I don’t think I can be the real me, I can stay and communicate instead

I will keep you posted on my progress. I’m a little scared, but that’s ok.

Thanks for listening and have a great day.