I’m Not Good at Waiting

Still waiting for the cable people – can you hear me screaming?

I am not good at waiting……..

I am trying to accept myself for my lack of patience.

As I said in the video, I am trying to have Mindful Self-Compassion. Speaking of which, this was a blog that was included in an eletter sent out by the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. Their website is: https://centerformsc.org/ in case you want to check them out. It is a wonderful non-profit organization.

The Second Piece of French Toast: a book about a personal self-compassion journey
By: Hilary Burns

For 16 years, I blamed myself for not having the kind of marriage I had dreamed of. I knew that if I just lost the weight I had gained, everything would be fine.
The problem was, when I finally lost the weight, I still wasn’t happy. Over the next couple of years I used self-compassion to create a new life. I stopped thinking like a victim, and honestly identified the issues in my marriage. I saw which issues I could control, and which ones I couldn’t. I stopped feeling hopeless and looked at what I could take actions on. I forgave myself for how things had turned out. I stopped waiting for my husband to change so I could be happy.

I started being kinder to myself, remembering my strengths and past accomplishments. I took control of my finances. I started doing things that brought me joy: Zumba, step class, reading, and seeing friends again. I did a triathlon and joined communities where I was loved and respected.
I returned to a life I loved by remembering who I was.
I am proud of what I have accomplished, and it inspired me to share my self-compassionate journey in a book, “The Second Piece of French Toast: If marriage was my dream, why was I numbing myself? ” It is available on Amazon. You can also find links to my blog and YouTube channel on my web site, where I share my continuing exploration into how to have self-compassion and create powerful lives that we love.

BACK TO ME:

When I don’t think I should be a certain way or think a certain way or look a certain way, I can sometimes get into a downward spiral of thinking into the “left” side of life. I have discovered many ways to get back to the “right” side again. That’s what I write and blog and record about.

Sometimes it’s easy to get out and sometimes it’s hard.

My newest thing is to not resist what I am feeling. I am going to try to not resist how I am feeling right now – I feel like I’m going to explode and my body hurts……….be right back……….

OK, I just allowed myself to cry. Really loud with body wracking sobs. It felt good. I feel exhausted, but much freer. I am using my negativity to hopefully inspire others. Share, say what can’t be said, and don’t resist your experience. These are my tools for my exploration into creating a life you love – out here in conversation.

BACK TO ME – MORE THOUGHTS:

I really loved the fantasy I was living for the last 4 weeks. You’ll have to watch the video to hear more about it.

My instincts were screaming and I was completely feeling nutso. As you can see if you read my book, fantasies are one of the ways I numb myself. Enter a fantasy and live there for a while, even if it’s not real. I can really experience happiness that way. It’s fun, but eventually, I crash back into the real world when I see I am kidding myself. Like I did this morning.

It’s been a frustrating and emotional day. Hope yours was more peaceful.

Thanks for listening.

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