Getting into Communication

OMG! This morning I was my usual negative mess.

Of course, my brain was telling me I was too f—-d up to even talk to anyone.

I guess it’s like listening to someone who only wants me to fail. I had a friend in junior high who told me she liked my hair long after I had cut it short.

Later, she admitted, that she had liked it short, but she just didn’t want me to look good.

Nice, isn’t it? I was surprised she admitted being so NASTY!

It’s just like our brains.

I listen to mine like it’s a good friend. I forget that it is SO NEGATIVE AND LIMITING.

Yesterday, I finally started reaching out to people and just being REAL. I sent an email out to two people – I was completely pathetic and making myself wrong. I was not going to do a course I had signed up for and just wanted to let them know. I was completely honest about how I was feeling. I was embarrassed after but at least I had started talking about it.

I could see that by taking myself out of the course, I was punishing myself for not being successful this December. I had had a plan to sell a certain amount and I did not hit it.

Withdrawing was a fitting punishment for a failure/loser which I felt that I was.

Today I had at least 3 conversations about it.

Luckily, I was able to get out of my negative thoughts by hearing what other people’s realities are about me – and replace my negative version.

They want me in the course. I contribute to the conversation. They refused to interact with my limiting conversation about me. That was a real gift that I needed today.

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An aside: I’m also getting feedback about my book. People feel like they are reading “my diary.”

Well, they sort of are – except that it took me 7 YEARS to rewrite that diary into a BOOK!

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Back to my prior thoughts: It took speaking up when I was afraid/didn’t want to. My brain told me no one cares and I am too much of a negative/always upset person to have someone want to listen to me.

Well, that was not the case. People love me, acknowledged me, and spoke to my greater self – not my internal self.

I am moved by their response. I think I probably could have eliminated this negative trend about three weeks ago if I had recognized it earlier.

Oh well, live and learn. It was great to talk to people who can get it and know how to respond in an empowering way.

I love them. I am blessed.

Have a great night. No video today. I’m not in a private place so it’s difficult.

Also, I reached out to the public library and Barnes and Noble today. I told them I am a “local author.” Maybe I can do an event.

Cool, right? Who knows?

Have a great night.