OMG! This morning I was my usual negative mess.
Of course, my brain was telling me I was too f—-d up to even talk to anyone.
I guess it’s like listening to someone who only wants me to fail. I had a friend in junior high who told me she liked my hair long after I had cut it short.
Later, she admitted, that she had liked it short, but she just didn’t want me to look good.
Nice, isn’t it? I was surprised she admitted being so NASTY!
It’s just like our brains.
I listen to mine like it’s a good friend. I forget that it is SO NEGATIVE AND LIMITING.
Yesterday, I finally started reaching out to people and just being REAL. I sent an email out to two people – I was completely pathetic and making myself wrong. I was not going to do a course I had signed up for and just wanted to let them know. I was completely honest about how I was feeling. I was embarrassed after but at least I had started talking about it.
I could see that by taking myself out of the course, I was punishing myself for not being successful this December. I had had a plan to sell a certain amount and I did not hit it.
Withdrawing was a fitting punishment for a failure/loser which I felt that I was.
Today I had at least 3 conversations about it.
Luckily, I was able to get out of my negative thoughts by hearing what other people’s realities are about me – and replace my negative version.
They want me in the course. I contribute to the conversation. They refused to interact with my limiting conversation about me. That was a real gift that I needed today.
An aside: I’m also getting feedback about my book. People feel like they are reading “my diary.”
Well, they sort of are – except that it took me 7 YEARS to rewrite that diary into a BOOK!
Back to my prior thoughts: It took speaking up when I was afraid/didn’t want to. My brain told me no one cares and I am too much of a negative/always upset person to have someone want to listen to me.
Well, that was not the case. People love me, acknowledged me, and spoke to my greater self – not my internal self.
I am moved by their response. I think I probably could have eliminated this negative trend about three weeks ago if I had recognized it earlier.
Oh well, live and learn. It was great to talk to people who can get it and know how to respond in an empowering way.
I love them. I am blessed.
Have a great night. No video today. I’m not in a private place so it’s difficult.
Also, I reached out to the public library and Barnes and Noble today. I told them I am a “local author.” Maybe I can do an event.
Cool, right? Who knows?
Have a great night.