I never thought passed the point of publishing my book in too much detail.
I never thought of the body sensations that feel like I am in mortal danger.
“I’m worried about what people will think,” I told a friend.
“Well, you should have thought of that before you published the book,” she answered.
That’s not the point. I’m not complaining. I’m just noticing what I am feeling.
What’s important to me is to go through this fear to get to freedom.
This has been my life in every area:
- Worrying about what people think.
It’s just the construct that my brain made for me. To keep me safe and from being hurt.
(Well, hopefully I am not in actual danger because I published this.)
I am right now breathing through the tight chest and fast heart rate. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Some label it as anxiety. I am not labeling the body sensations. I am trying to experience them. Instead of resisting or making them wrong. So I can get to the freedom on the other side.
I am doing GREAT. I really am.
I am also going passed where I would normally stop with this gosh darn web site. (watch the video)
I can see that I want to say:
- I can’t do this
- I wasn’t born able to do design stuff
- I don’t know how
- I can’t
- I’m not put together for this kind of work
These are not the truth. They are just what I made up.
I am very proud to say that I am doing it anyway. Action is a lot easier than listening to my brain tell me I can’t.
I really am proud. Great strides today after a week of recuperation (my back), and mental discomfort about the book.
I am happy to report I am in a much clearer, healthier place. Because I allowed myself to be however I was this week. I accepted it (well, most of the time, anyway). I took care of myself, listened to my body and mind, and took it easy.
And I’m on my way to greater freedom.
Have a great day. I have to get back to my web site DESIGN.
Thanks for listening.