Crazy But Having Fun

I just recorded a ten minute video. It was fun to just let ‘er loose!!

I may have a date today. Not sure. He wanted to meet me at 2:00 and I suggested 3:00 and haven’t heard back. We will see. I had to go and confuse things so now I don’t know what to do. I guess I could show at 2:00. I will see.

I am developing patience (in theory) with these book covers. I can see that I get a little crazy/wishywashy.

When I don’t hear back immediately, I create plan B. Then I create plan C. So I have a bunch of people working on it. Then I feel bad and they are confused.

But in actuality, I think it’s better than waiting four months for the two people who never came through and I end up with nothing. Or is it?

That is the crazy part. Doubting every freaking thing I do. Here are the facts:

  • I have Steve, my formatting guy from Australia, who bowed out when he found out I had contacted the other people. Honestly, his designs were nice, but not what I was looking for.
  • I have the 99Design people. There is one who is responding quickly and I hope I like what she sends me next. There are about 9 others who submitted stuff but it was not what I was asking for.
  • Then I have the guy in Texas who I had asked if he could do the cover a month ago. Then my daughter was going to do it so I didn’t need him. Then she didn’t do it, or my next friend, so Friday I needed him. Then I told him I didn’t. Then, all night when I couldn’t sleep I decided to email him to see if he is willing to do it today and can we talk? I haven’t heard anything back.
  • I don’t blame him for not responding. I would have had enough of my indecision/craziness quite frankly. Push and pull, etc.
  • So, at this point, I am going to hope that the one active 99Design person can create what I am looking for in the shape I need and the right specs. I am praying about it because I hate not knowing.

OK, I said it. I think my mother has all the patience for the next 5 generations of us and I HAVE NONE. (Yes, I’m yelling).

The other thing: I’ve been letting loose with is how I feel instead of being nice. It is cathartic I have to say. It creates a mess but then I let them talk and we end up connected. It’s scary but way more fun than keeping it all in. And we end up closer because the resentment and distance disappears.

I’m going to submit my poster now for the conference for global transformation. Get that done.

I also need to manifest a bunch of money this next month. I am putting that out there instead of worrying, being stressed, and thinking I am a total ass hole for not hitting my numbers and getting my bonuses. Having more money is way more fun than having less. Just saying………

And, now that I think about it, even when I had it, I was still stressed about something or other so I guess the grass is always greener in my mind. There is always something. If it’s not money, it’s my weight. If my weight is good (hasn’t been in a few years), then I can always bemoan that I don’t have a relationship. There is always something I can be upset about. It’s automatic, unfortunately. Good to see this (again).

Fran, (my late friend), and I used to have contests unknowingly. We would talk about our days. The one with the worst day was the unofficial winner. The thing was that we had fun doing it. We would make the stories funny. It was whining with humor. That would be a good name for a show, wouldn’t it? Whining with Humor. I kind of like that.

We’ll call this – sharing with humor – the path to freedom

NOTE: The computer gives you three “thumbnails” to pick from. This picture is the best of the three believe it or not. Sad, but true.

Oh, here’s another thing. On my 99Design book cover contest I said the book would be featured on Oprah. I am manifesting that. I hope I can’t get sued for saying that. It has gotten a bunch of responses so I guess it worked. I will have to manifest her calling me to be on her show. You heard it here, folks!!!

OK, better get in the shower in case I have a date.

Enjoy your Sunday. Thanks for listening.

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