Fumfing for Words

I was fumfing (sp) for words on this one but I pressed upload anyway. It was my second time recording and I just didn’t want to keep redoing it.

It is my REAL SELF. Take it or leave it. (No, don’t leave. I didn’t mean it :).

I heard from an old friend about yesterday’s video Facebook post. He was encouraging. I had no idea he was even watching. He said he always thought I was a great person. Unreal. Because of course, like always, I thought he didn’t like me. And he does. I never would have known. Very cool.

It just goes to show how my version of reality is always so much more negative than reality. I guess in a way that’s a good thing.

Another thought: One day I hope to get comfortable with posting these videos and blogs, but maybe, at that point it won’t be exciting. Who knows? Or, maybe then I’ll move onto the next new thing and scare the shit out of myself doing that.

Is it terrifying or exciting? I think it’s the same feeling. So, let’s call it exciting instead.

OK, my son is here from Minneapolis so I am going to go see him. I will keep this short.

Just a few things from the video that I can emphasize:

• I broke a 4 month suck streak at work and made some SALES – WHOOPEE – and just from BEING someone who is passionate, courageous and can speak up – instead of being right about how I suck and there’s nothing I can do about it – that’s unreal
• I saw a mock-up of a chapter of my book – it was SO DAMN COOL
• I was listening to spotify at the gym because my regular app wasn’t working – I was envisioning creating a song at our December vacation where 500-600 people are singing and doing the amazingly choreographed danced steps together – I was rocking on the treadmill – so much fun – I was happy just imagining it
• I spoke up today – that’s all I’ll say – and I feel alive and connected to the world instead of making up crap in my head that is disempowering and keeps me separate – it’s really amazing what a different world it is when I clear the air – crazy good
• This weekend I created being Courageous – and it’s working!!!
• Hallelujah

I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but I gotta go. My precious boy just called and I can’t wait to give him a hug.

Thanks for listening.