Hey guys, I actually have my own YouTube channel. Who knew that I created it in 2014. I certainly didn’t know I did.
I have decided in the last week that I will create my own channel and record short videos where I am being real. I’ve been told that I am funny. Let’s see if I am. And, who knows if this will work?
So far I have uploaded two videos. I had no makeup on and I was just ad-libbing to see if I could do it. It took me 24 hours to figure out how to save the first one. But I finally did. And then I figured out how to upload them to YouTube. Small victories. I am very proud of this.
My goal for the day is to do a video that I can use as my first public one. I am nervous and that’s ok.
If I wait to get it perfect, I’ll never do it. I will post the link when I figure out how to do it. And if I listen to my brain, I’m sunk before I start.
Here are some of the things my brain is saying:
- you suck
- you look like hell
- you don’t know what you’re doing
- you’re too old
- you’re not funny
- you’re an idiot
- who the fuck are you to think you can do this?
- no one will watch
- you don’t know what you’re doing (again)
- you’re too ugly, old and wrinkled for anyone to watch
- get a grip on yourself
- get real
I think you get the point.
And, I will do it anyway. You’ve got to be bad to be good.
One thing is sure. This will be the REAL ME. My purpose is to allow my people pleasing, not getting people upset, and having to be pleasant past to entertain, inspire, and empower other women. To use what I’ve learned to make a difference.
And, to have fun doing it. What I’m creating for my future is to get paid for:
And to create an expansion in the area of time and money.
Not looking good will be extremely obvious as the camera picks up all wrinkles, lines etc.
And, I am not going to get professionally made up for these, folks. It will never happen if I wait for that. Plus, I don’t have the patience.
So, wish me luck. I guess I can use the blog to say all the stuff I’m afraid to say on the video. That may work.
I am nervous to do a public one but so what? It’s just body sensations and I can keep a throw up bucket next to me just in case.
Have a great day. And, as always, thanks for listening.