Sick – Haven’t Been for a While

For four days I’ve had a very sharp sore throat. I was proud that on the second day I went to the urgent care. They told me it wasn’t strep, just a virus, nothing they could do. I took an action to take care of myself instead of waiting like a usually do. I felt good about that.

Even so, the next day I was moaning in agony. The pain was so sharp I couldn’t swallow. The motrin and tylenol wasn’t helping. Sleeping was the only way to take the pain away. My regular physician had no time for me. “Call in the morning if you can come in tomorrow” they said.

So I did. I was miserable. They gave me an appointment with a junior doctor. I was worried that it was the same guy I had seen right after my father died two years ago.

Back then I was driving by their office feeling really sick. I called to see if I could have an appointment. All they had was Dr. Z, a new doctor. He told me I wasn’t sick.

“Then why do I feel so bad?” I asked.

“You have allergies, are stressed, and are depressed.”

My jaw dropped open. “How can you call me depressed? You don’t even know me?” I asked him.

“In your chart it says that you were crying when you came in last.”

“My father had just died. How was I supposed to be? It’s called grief.”

I left horrified that he had said that. He also recommended an acupuncturist which I went to a few times, spent a lot of money on, and didn’t feel much better so I stopped going.

Let’s just say I wasn’t thrilled with him then.

Yesterday I asked the nurse if I had seen this doctor before. She said yes. I decided to have an open mind. He looked at my throat and said it was strep. He didn’t look at my jaw or ear. He didn’t say anything about how I couldn’t open my mouth. When I said I couldn’t swallow and the water came out my nose, he said that was fine.

Later last night I got a call from the Urgent Care from Sunday that it was NOT STREP.

I’m confused. How could the test say it’s not and he said it was without doing the test? I really want to throw this young doctor under the bus for not doing a culture.

But where is it going to get me? It’s just going to keep the poison in me.

Last night I had nightmares about weird stuff like luggage and strange thinking. Someone else told me you get a sore throat when you are not saying something.

I’ve said everything I was holding in since then. I’m asking God to help so I can drink without the liquid coming out of my nose. It helped.

I googled jaw, nose and throat and there’s something called a eustachian tube that can get blocked. I closed my mouth and blew like it said. I can now swallow. Hallelujah.

Hopefully this is a temporary thing. I’ll have forgotten about it in a few months. I don’t think I will go to that young doctor again. I don’t think we have a strong connection.

I’m going to go to a work meeting later, fortified with plenty of motrin and lozenges. Tomorrow I have my pilot speaking engagement. The next day I have to drive to New Jersey to open a new account for one of my interns. Luckily my ex lets me drive his car since mine has a bad transmission and probably wouldn’t make it. For all my complaining, he does come through when I need him. I am grateful for that.

I’m ready to stop moaning and join the world. And I can ask for help when I need it.

Thanks for listening. I needed to get all this out of my head.

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