I have been getting excited about learning about what others have been saying about authenticity, fitting in, and belonging.
And tying it in to what the brain does, and what different people are calling the voice in our heads or our thoughts.
Who would have thought that our thoughts weren’t true? We have listened to them all our lives. They are automatic and non-stop. And pretty negative and disempowering.
Our brain is trying to protect us from doing something risky or getting hurt. We should thank it, but not listen to it.
Any time I want to go out of my comfort zone and say something new or speak up or publish something, for example, my brain says “who wants to listen to you?” or “why do you think YOU have something to say of value?” or “don’t get them upset” or “just keep quiet.”
All these things are limiting. How can I ever have the life I really want if I listen to my protective brain? I can’t.
I will stay alone in my home and never do anything different.
So I’ve been practicing saying what I’m afraid to say and sometimes it’s good and sometimes it causes a big huge fight.
But at the end of the fight, if it’s with someone who has a commitment of working things out, there’s magic. If you can get through the discomfort, you can get to the other side where there’s affinity.
It’s tricky. You can’t take their feedback personally, but listen from their world.
If I don’t speak up when I’m upset, I just avoid or get rid of people. I cross them off my list. But then I realized that I was resenting other people because I didn’t speak up. So I started saying something. Because the resentment had nothing to do with them, really.
And since I’ve started communicating, I have WAY more people in my life that I love. It’s a beautiful thing.
And, getting back to the thoughts in our heads. I wish my beautiful friend Fran had known that her thoughts were not true. I’m pretty sure she’d be alive today if she had.
So, that’s my mission. To have more people know that they ARE NOT their thoughts, but quite wonderful people. We are each born with gifts, but instead of focussing on them, we focus on what we are NOT good at or what’s missing. At least I do and have.
For me, thinking positively is not natural. I have to work at it, and my default of something’s wrong is waiting to jump out all the time. And sometimes I don’t realize what’s happened because it just seems so real and true that there REALLY is something wrong.
I think I’m catching my negative thoughts sooner than I used to. And sometimes I just need to accept them and even wallow a bit, too.
But alas, I’m tired. I can’t think straight anymore so I will bid you Good night.