I have been relaxing ever since I hit my numbers for the year three weeks early. In the nine years I’ve had this position, I’ve never been calm for this long. Either I missed my numbers (it’s called FAME) or I hit them at the last minute. Then the next year starts immediately and here we go again into stress land.
So this is a never been done before. I mean, I did some stuff, but didn’t have to wake up early, go to the office, or try to write premium.
It was great. And, a part of me is unsettled. I’m trying to enjoy it, but……..
I always feel like I should be DOING something. And, it’s not like I’m doing nothing. I worked out every day. I made the calls I was supposed to for my seminar and women’s empowerment event. I read some books, watched some movies, I’m having people over tomorrow for a New Year’s event. I responded to emails and called back people who asked me to.
But it always seems like I should be doing more. It’s not ever ENOUGH.
I was listening to Abraham Hick’s this morning. How to attract everything you want. The way to have your vibration going in a positive direction is to be grateful. I think that’s the easiest way. The other videos talk about the vortex, resistance, and high flying disks and I just get confused and think I’m doing it wrong. So, let me get grateful instead of my normal everything is heading down the tubes:
- I am grateful that I gained ten pounds over the last four years (this one is hard) because it allows me to love myself as I am, attract someone who can love me as is, and to give up my racket about how I am not the way I am supposed to be (which seems to be there no matter what the actual number on the scale is anyway).
- I am grateful for the last few weeks because I got to slow down, and enjoy myself.
- I am grateful for hitting FAME early so that I could take this time to get really really bored and not be sorry to be back at work on Wednesday.
- I am grateful to be confused about my book because it has gotten me to think about it, talk about it, and learn to trust my instincts on how to fix the parts I am not satisfied with.
- I am grateful to be single so that I can be available for a great man to appear and fall into my life with fun, play and ease.
- I am grateful for the expansion that I have taken on by making seminar calls and inviting people powerfully to this women’s empowerment introduction. I have been able to let go of my disempowering listening of people in favor of them being powerful, up to something and reliable.
- I am grateful to have distinguished that as soon as someone doesn’t do what they say that I move them onto the Ass hold pile, never trusting them or interacting with them powerfully again unless I clean it up first.
- I have tried to slow down, and remember to “go within, ask my Spirit what to do,” etc. I guess it is hard to get used to not being a crazy-lunatic-doing-machine-always-in-a-rush-pissed-off-when-things-don’t-go-as-planned-or-someone-moves-too-slow kind of person. I can just say I am not used to it and just let my discomfort be.
- NOTE: I know I’m not much fun to be with when I’m like that – just ask my kids what it was like trying to “catch” the school bus years ago. They had already missed it and since it was a half hour back and forth to school, we would chase after it in the car, and when we got close, they would have to run and catch it. Haley and I still cringe remembering it. She says those were the worst, most humiliating moments of her life.
I can’t figureout how to type under the picture.
(OK, let’s see if this works. YAY!! I can now keep typing under the picture.)
I am just going to allow my discomfort. Trust the universe. Be grateful whenever I remember and give up making myself wrong for everything little thing I do or don’t do as soon as I see that I am doing that.
One insight: My mother always has to be doing something productive. She can’t just sit. Literally. Is it any wonder I think it’s wrong to just sit down and relax?
My kids certainly don’t have a hard time doing nothing. At least I don’t think they do. Good question to ask them.
Well, time to pay some bills and then……….relax some more. I still have tomorrow and the next day before I go back to work. It’s like having a three week long weekend without any Mondays. Pretty awesome. I think I’ll just force myself to try and enjoy it.
Happy New Year!!!!!