What am I, a Shmuck?

I remember my father saying “What am I, a Shmuck?”  when he thought maybe he was having a heart attack.   He decided to go to the hospital, just in case.

He wasn’t, but it made him feel better than waiting and wondering.

Right now, I am supposed to be “relaxing” while a technician checks out my gas heater, water heater, and stove.

Since I put my heat back on, I have been disturbed by a smell that fills the air.  It gets into my nose and throat and I don’t like it.  Is it dangerous?  I don’t know.

I didn’t tell anyone because I felt like maybe it was all in my mind.  They checked it two years ago and nothing was wrong.  So, why bother everyone again?

Finally, two days ago I confessed my concern to my business coach.  Instead of just worrying and being bothered, I looked to see what I could do about this.

I said I would call my landlord.  But even though, John, my landlord who is 92 called me the next day, I still didn’t say anything.  I didn’t want to bother him and have him think I was just crazy.

John told me not to be afraid to let him know something was wrong.  If he didn’t hear from me he would assume everything was fine.

I can see how not wanting to bother people, thinking it’s all in my head, wanting people to like me, and thinking that if I’m too much of a pain in the ass people will leave me, runs me.  It has me put up with something like this that doesn’t work.

Yesterday I finally told my landlord  that this smell is really bothering me.  He told me to call the gas company today when I was home.  So I did.  And here I sit, waiting and wondering.

Maybe the gas is fine.  OK, then I’ll come with an alternative way to heat my place.

But what if it’s not.  I could have been endangering myself for no reason.  I have been getting dizzy a lot.  Maybe that’s why.  Or, maybe I’m just dehydrated like the doctor thought.

So, I’m on my computer instead of grilling my chicken like I was going to do.  I’m waiting for this guy to be done so I know if I’m crazy or not.  I’m really hungry but don’t dare put the gas on like I want to.

But, at least, like my father, I’m not being a Shmuck.  (Shmuck to me means being an idiot.  I don’t know if that’s the real meaning of the word but that’s how I use it).  I’m taking action so that I can eliminate the worry from my brain.

We will see.  More to come.

OK – LATER:

There was a small gas leak by the water heater.  The technician fixed it.  My heater and stove were fine.  He told me to have the plumber check out where the gas hooks to the house as a preventative measure.   My place is safe.  Nothing to worry about.

Once I knew that, I figured out what the smell was.  My daughter had bought two candles that had a very sweet smell, like maple syrup.  I think that was the smell that I didn’t like.  I moved them outside.  There is no smell anymore.  I can breathe again.

And I don’t think I would have figured that out if I hadn’t taken an action.  Once I knew the gas was fine, I could look for another source of the smell.   I am so happy.

It’s a miracle.  And, only because I got into dialogue and took an action.

I can literally breathe easy again.   Wow!!  I can’t tell you what that does for me.

Unbelievable.   Next time I will not wait as long to say something.

And I won’t have to suffer as long.