Painting like Picasso – Freedom to Be the Real ME

A friend of mine was saying, “if I tried to paint like Picasso, I’d never paint.”

That’s true, I thought.  You could never match up to the great Picasso.

“But if I try to paint like I can paint, I am free.”

Yes, that’s true.  And that gave me more courage to write.  Because if I compare myself to others, I might as well just dig myself into a hole.  I’m not a technical writer.  I don’t like to follow politics and give my opinions.  I don’t keep up with current events.  I don’t like to research.

What I love to do is to discover new ways to be free.  To uncover limiting paradigms that are running my life.  By seeing them, I become free of them.  And able to create life in a new way.

For example, I’ve been very frustrated about my lack of weight loss.  VERY!  And upset about it.

In a conversation with my seminar leader, Annamarie, she asked me about it.  I cried and we talked.

I realized that as a young girl, when my parents asked me to lose weight, I decided that I wasn’t ok unless I was thin.

That was the truth until yesterday.  I was trying so desperately to become someone that my parents could be proud of.  The key word is desperately.  Frustrated like a two year old.  Having tantrums.

“It’s not fair.  I’m doing everything I know to do.  I can’t stand this.  I give up.”

Like that.  Sort of a powerless victim.

“Did you ever consider that you were just fine way back then?”  Annamarie asked.

“No,”  I asked sniffling.  “Definitely not.  I really thought I needed to be fixed.”

“Well, what it you didn’t?  If you were just fine however you are.”

“Well, I’ve given lip service to that, but I never believed it.  It’s over the top of something is definitely wrong with me.”

At that point we lost the call.  I got to think about it.  What if I was REALLY ACTUALLY OK just as I was?  What if I could just be fine however I am?

I’ve said it before, but I never really believed it.  I was waiting to lose this weight and then maybe it could be possible.   I could try to love myself as I am, knowing it was a temporary thing.

Distinguishing that paradigm has given me a real chance to actually love myself.  I can walk around proudly for the first time.  I can relax about the weight.  I can do my best and try new things.

And I don’t have to walk around ashamed anymore.  And that is a whole new world for me.

Welcome to my new world.

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