I was on a webinar about moving into 2021. What are we leaving behind in 2020 and what are we taking with us into 2021?
I found myself irritated (for a change, LOL). Everyone was being all wonderful and giving up bad things like drama, anger, and suffering.
“I’m not giving up those things,” I thought. “They are a major part of my life. Who are these people? They are so GOOD. I HATE THEM.”
As the time continued, I got into even more of a funk. (As I said, for a change, LOL). “What is wrong with ME? Why am I always like this? Why can’t I be happy and la-dee-freaking-dah like all of THEM?”
I crossed my arms and enjoyed making everyone else wrong. I’m different. I’m not like them.
Hmmm. What can I take on? How about acceptance. Accepting that I AM THIS WAY. And not like them. And it’s ok? Maybe it’s not wrong? What a concept.
When it was my turn to share, I said, “I’m taking on Acceptance, Abundance and I need another A. Hmmmm……. How about ANGER?” I started laughing. “Yes, anger. I am still mad at my sister and I don’t think I should be. I should be nice and forgive her. But I just don’t want to.”
I continued. “What if I do the ABC’s of being bad? B is for Bitchy, Bad, and Bratty. C is for Catty, Crazy and Cranky……..”
I was having fun and my bad mood was gone. I think I’m onto something.
I decided to continue my inquiry. I have an exercise that I offer as a bonus in my new course, “Getting Unstuck with Hilary.” The bonus module is called “Creating the Real You.” I decided to do it and see if I could create more freedom for myself.
I picked my disempowering thought: “I should be nice and pleasant and wonderful. And I’m not.”
I did the exercise. OH, I think being NOT NICE is just plain WRONG. I SHOULD BE like all these nice people, perky and pleasant and giving up bad things. By making myself wrong for that I get stuck there and I suffer. When I’m not pleasant, patient, or nice, I think I am not ok and I get myself into a funk.
The Alphabet of Badness lets me play with all of this. Instead of making the bad things wrong, I can use them to laugh. There are so many things I call myself that aren’t good. D is for Disempowered, delinquent, dangerous. E is for envious, etc. By listing all of these traits, I can play and laugh and ENJOY BEING BAD. Who said we had to be good all the time? Why did I think that was true? How boring is that?
So in 2021 I am going to accept all of myself – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And have FUN DOING IT!!! Now I’m excited!!!!!
Welcome to a New, More Accepting and Enjoyable Year.
Thanks for listening.
Creating Life Out Here 
Yay! As a card carrying good girl, I love your acceptance of the bad! I was âbadâ last night. Got on a zoom call with extended family for the first zoom gathering ever, and I was so tired of everyone talking over each other and not being able to be heard that I said goodbye after 30 minutes. My first impulse was to immediately call everyone and apologize for being such a bitch. My husband said âDonât you dare. It was awful. Everyone wanted it to end. You just made it possible without anyone else having to looking bad.â I did write everyone the next day â not with an apology, but sharing my frustration and a suggestion for how we might conduct the call if we choose to try again. The possibility of being straight about how frustrated I am getting is present. And I donât need to have them all think I am perfect. They donât!
Thank you, Hilary! You are giving me so much freedom.
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