Uh Oh – What Does Premier Mean?

I tagged this as premier. I don’t know what that means, but since I’m living on the edge, why not? And that’s a terrible picture but I don’t know how to change it.

OK….breathe, breathe, breathe

Eckart Toile says make friends with the present. OK, something to take on.

Hearing this, I have seen that I am irritated some (alot!) of the time.

  • the traffic
  • I didn’t get everything done that I had planned
  • I don’t know what to wear to New York today
  • I want to be comfortable, yet not feel like a shamiel (sp) one of my father’s words – don’t know if I’m using it correctly
  • My numbers for work are literally zero for the second week in a row – I have NEVER had that happen in my 10 years as a manager – I’m embarrassed about it – waiting for them to can me even though I was doing fantastic before this year’s third quarter for the prior 4 years – I’m still waiting for them to come at me with “the hook”
  • I’m impatient about getting my book done – I’m confused about how the cover should look – I’ve never done it before and I hate not knowing – “I SHOULD KNOW”
  • Why should I know? Good question. Just a thing I do automatically. OK, I can give that up

OK, I have to go get ready. I’d like to continue pouring about my mental stuckness, but I really need to get moving.

  • OK, just a little more. I have been doing the 12 hour not eating thing. Sometimes I’m really hungry. But, I feel good when I can get through it. I am doing it to lose weight. It’s slow, but at least going in the right direction. Patience, I keep telling myself. It’s new and the unknown. At least I’m down a couple of pounds instead of gaining. YAY!
  • The dating – I have a date on Monday. The guy seems nice. I already want to get rid of him even though I’ve never met him. That’s just me wanting to be safe and comfortable. I am going to be open and trust my instincts. I CAN TRUST MYSELF!!! I can HAVE FUN!!
  • I will wear the right clothes today. Layers are always good. I will bring a second pair of shoes and a second bra so I can be comfortable on the train. That is what runs me – comfort – don’t want to be too hot or too cold, bra needs to be comfortable but supportive (haven’t found that yet), shoes need to be comfortable for walking, yet somewhat fashionable (haven’t found that yet either).
  • That’s why I am always carrying so much stuff. I need back-ups for bras, underwear (I know, TMI), and shoes. I need a book to read, my glasses, water, food. It’s ALOT. But, that’s how I roll.
  • OK, if I don’t shut up I will miss my train.

Adios.

Thanks for listening. Have a great day!!!

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