Not Sure This Works

I’m not sure I should post this one. I was feeling frustrated and disappointed and decided to try to see if I could talk my way out of it.

I hate when people tell me to be positive. It annoys the fuck out of me. I think it’s my shtick.

DON’T TELL ME HOW TO BE!! I want to scream. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

It kicks in my I shouldn’t be the way I am thing.

But, really, show me the rule that says that a person HAS TO BE POSITIVE!!!

There isn’t one!

Am I on a rampage? Yes I am.

And it feels good to blow off my frustration. I hate pretending to be happy when I’m not.

Wanna hear the list?

Couldn’t fall asleep until 3:00 AM. It’s just hitting me now.

It’s raining and cold and I have a date and I have no idea what to wear. I haven’t worn winter clothes in a long time. I forgot what I have. I don’t feel like having to be peppy.

I’m getting my hair colored and cut and see above – it’s raining so it will look like shit.

I just ate more multigrain guiltless chips than I had intended to.

My back hurts

OK – work – a category unto itself:

• the last 4 months have been the worst in years in terms of sales
• my last new agent quit today
• the other new one quit after one day this week
• my old agents aren’t working
• basically I have NO TEAM
• I have lost any confidence I ever had
• I can’t see how things could ever get good again
• I’m tired
• My back hurts – I know that’s a repeat
• I’m tired – repeat
• Back/tired/back/tired etc.

And, as always, I feel like I should be happy anyway. Just to join the rest of humanity. Be positive. Law of Attraction. Be grateful. Loser for feeling this way.

I’m very wrong for feeling this way. Just shoot me and put me out of my misery.

So you can vote on if I should take this negative, venting video off the public site.

I couldn’t decide. Maybe someone else will feel better about themselves.

Or, they will wish they hadn’t press play.

I’ll take feedback.

Have a great fucking day.

Actually, just allowing myself to feel negative is taking some of the edge off. Try it. It’s better than making it wrong.

Adios.

Thanks for listening.