I just got off the phone with someone and I am annoyed. I was trying to speak but I couldn’t get through what I wanted to say because several times she interrupted me to give me advice.
That really bugs the crap out of me.
It used to happen to me when I was married all the time. I couldn’t have the conversation I was trying to have because my ex would either start challenging my choice of words, give me advice, or just start talking about what he wanted to talk about.
I guess feeling heard is important to me. When I don’t get to finish, I shut down and just start resenting the person. And I stay pissed off for quite some time.
Well, that’s not really being cause in the matter of being heard, is it? It’s being a sulky, petulant victim who gets rid of people and makes them wrong instead of just “saying something.”
The problem is that what I want to say is:
- shut the f–k up you rude bitch. I don’t care what you have to say, just let me f——-g finish. I’m not asking for your advice. I’m NOT FINISHED!!!!!!!!!
- talk to the hand
- I’m hanging up
- f—k you
- la la la – I’m not listening – let me know when you’re finished and I’ll continue
- you call yourself a leader? didn’t they teach you to listen? isn’t your advice to me noise?
- you asked me a question and you’re not letting me answer – wtf?
So given all that, it’s probably better that I have kept my mouth shut. I don’t think saying any of those things would have helped the situation at all and it probably would not have ended well.
If I was a little more mature, what could I say instead? Let’s see……….
I got nothing…………I need some time………..
WHY DON’T WE TALK ANOTHER TIME WHEN YOU CAN KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT?
OK, not there yet. Well, at least I’m finding humor in this. That’s a step up from pissed off victim.
I’D LOVE TO FINISH MY THOUGHT – ANY CHANCE OF THAT, BITCH?
OK, I’m obviously not upgrading this at all. But at least I’ve aired out some pent up frustration.
Here’s something: I could ask permission to speak uninterrupted before I start talking. If they don’t have time to listen or can’t do that, I can ask if we can talk another time or find someone else to talk to. Now that sounds mature.
It seems like a lot of work, but it’s got to be better than what I have been doing. And I will keep thinking.
And I have to realize that some people may not be able to stop themselves from interrupting. I can merely grant them being and not take it personally.
But only as a last resort!!!!!!! And that will take some practice!
Thanks for listening. Have a great night!!