Sharing is Healing

Yesterday I heard something profound.

“Sharing is healing.”

For me, when I say something out loud, or write it down, something really good happens.

The thoughts come out of my head and stop being something real, shameful, or unique to me.

They get out in the world where I can do something about them.

I can decide if they are real, and see actions to take that I couldn’t see when they were just a jumbled ball of disempowerment stuck in my head.

I’m trying to think of a good example that I haven’t used before……

OK, here’s a good one. I used to have a boss named Justin. He would sometimes make fun of me and put me down in front of people. I hated it. But I didn’t say anything. I just grinned and beared it. I tried to talk myself out of feeling bad. He wasn’t a bad person. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. But no matter what I told myself, I still felt bad deep inside.

Over time, something happened. I started hating work. I didn’t want to come anymore. I started resenting Justin. I knew this wasn’t good. I was on commission, and not making many sales. I needed to do something.

I called up Justin. “Do you have a minute?”

“Yes,” he said.

I took a deep breath and blurted, “I really hate when you make fun of me in public. I don’t like it, it makes me feel stupid, and it’s making me not want to come to work. Can you please stop doing that?”

“Oh, of course, ” he said. “I’m sorry. I guess I thought I was being funny. I won’t do that anymore.”

And he didn’t. And work was no longer a problem to be endured.

I spoke up and shared how I felt. And the problem disappeared. My resentment, anger, and feeling bad was healed. In an instant.

Almost like magic.